


Serenity

by NextStopWonderland



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Winter - Fandom
Genre: Complete, Dirty Talk, Dry Humping, F/M, Jealous Bucky Barnes, My First AO3 Post, Oral Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:36:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 30,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23973880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NextStopWonderland/pseuds/NextStopWonderland
Summary: A mission mishap lands you and Bucky in the hot seat, putting the two of you together for a steamy assignment in an underground club. Can you make it through this mission without losing your heart?
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Character(s), James "Bucky" Barnes/Original Female Character(s), James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader
Comments: 31
Kudos: 207





	1. Colors

**Author's Note:**

> First, I'd like to say I own nothing but the typos and mistakes in this work. I'm just here to play in Marvel's sandbox. 
> 
> This is my first posted work. I'm a long time lurker, and a fanfic addict. I figured, "Hey, why not write my own?" So I did...then I kept all of them under wraps for eons before working up the nerve to post one for public consumption. I'm going to credit my newfound willingness to make myself vulnerable up to Quarantine Confidence! 
> 
> Please be kind for I am fragile. Then again, aren't we all? :-)

The quickly fading, logical side of my brain briefly tried to process how I’d ended up here, in Dublin, in a _sex_ club, with Bucky’s hand down the front of my pants and rapidly traveling toward my incredibly sensitive bundle of nerves.

One minute, we were planning the mission from the compound; Bruce and Nat were going to infiltrate the club, Serenity. Apparently, a chemical engineer discovered a mineral within vibranium that, when properly synthesized, created a powerfully mind altering drug; maybe the best mood elevating painkiller the planet has ever known.

Of course, none of this was new to the people of Wakanda. They have been using the drug for decades to treat illnesses and injuries; they just never had a problem with abuse and misuse. Once the drug was synthesized on the streets away from home, however, abuse was rampant and T’Challa raged that once again something from Wakanda had been taken and twisted, distorted into a dark substance that, when mixed with other drugs, created a powerful psychological and physical addiction.

As it turned out, Serenity was ground zero for this new drug. The problem was the club was also a very private members only type deal. And it’s a sex club.

Yeah.

Which is why Nat and Bruce were going in. I mean, Nat is basically a walking bombshell, and Bruce…well, he pairs nicely with Nat in an unexpectedly handsome, submissive-yet-volatile sort of way.

Everything was going swimmingly until Nat got shot and Bruce hulked out while gathering reconnaissance earlier in the week. The mission itself was still salvageable since the ambush didn’t happen inside the club, but those two were definitely compromised.

Vision and Wanda were out of commission too, though for a very different reason. They were celebrating their honeymoon in a remote location offered by Fury himself. No one wanted to disrupt the honeymoon. Heaven knows we all needed personal time when and where we could get it, and when your teammates get married, well, that personal time is double sacred.

That left me, the only available female agent on the team, as the only double “x” chromosome holder…which also happened to be a requirement for club membership. Single, attractive females were virtually guaranteed membership. Attractive couples were also considered a draw, and could find their way on the roster if there was room for admission. Single men…well, they had better be incredibly handsome _and_ exceedingly wealthy. Single men, no matter how good looking, were going to pay to play.

Once I’d come to terms with being thrust in this position, I looked around the table wondering who would be my partner on this assignment. My partner and I would need to indulge in some serious PDA while undercover. There’s no way it could be Barton. That dude was _very_ married. Tony might as well be. Steve, well, he would blend in at a sex club almost as well as a candle in a coal mine. Which left Sam or Bucky.

Sam and I were good friends; our rooms were across from each other in a shared hallway. We joked, we laughed, we fought, and we laughed some more…we could pull this off. But it would be like making out with your brother.

Ew.

Bucky and I on the other hand, well, while we didn’t have the same type of relationship Sam and I had, we did get along just fine. We worked well together; we even goofed off together in our down time. Though, I’m the first to admit I harbored a wicked crush on Bucky. But he could be intense and reserved sometimes, so I took that as my cue to give Bucky his space when he needed it.

So, imagine my shock when Bucky immediately stated he was going to be my partner on this mission.

He didn’t ask. He just… _claimed_ it and that was that.

My neck snapped to him when he’d made his proclamation, though he never looked at me. His eyes remained glued to Steve. They seemed to silently communicate something to each other. I glanced toward Sam, who was looking between the two super soldiers, probably wondering if they were having some wordless conversation too, before looking to me with wide eyes.

I gave a very slight, one shoulder shrug and Sam copied my move.

Steve turned to me, garnering my attention. “Z,” he said softly, using my nickname, “you okay with this so far?”

I nodded mutely. “Sure.”

And it was true. Mostly. I mean I was okay with it. I was _more_ than okay with it. The only problem I had with it was my stupid, girly, ridiculous, groupie-style crush. I imagined squashing that crush into a tiny ball, then shoving it deep inside a tiny box I kept inside my chest. There, crush problem resolved.

Well, it _was_ resolved until I glanced back toward Bucky who was watching me intently. His blue eyes met mine and just like that, the stupid squashed ball I’d just tamped down blossomed and nearly choked me to death.

Freaking girly crush.

Steve spoke at greater length, though I could barely hear him over the sound of my own blood rushing through my ears. We started to clear the table in the boardroom when Steve herded Bucky and I to the side.

“You guys should—“ he struggled to find his words, causing both Bucky and I to glance at each other before focusing on Steve again, “get better…acquainted. So it isn’t so awkward at the club,” he amended.

I quirked a brow, a trait I’d learned from both Wanda and Nat. I glanced at Bucky who was stifling his own smile as he glanced at me. 

I turned to fully face Bucky, extending my hand as if to shake his. “Well, hello James, it’s me, Elizabeth. Your _roommate_ and _teammate_ for the last _year and a half_ ,” I said poignantly in Steve’s direction, emphasizing that Bucky and I were already pretty damn well acquainted. “It’s come to my attention we need to get to know each other better even though we live _and_ work together,” I laughed out loud, causing Bucky to laugh with me. “I like cereal and Saturday morning cartoons—“

Steve rolled his eyes, though he did smile. “Ha, ha, very funny you two. I mean you need to get comfortable _with_ each other. You’re infiltrating a sex club, not a USO dance so you can Lindy Hop.”

“So we can…what the what?” I asked softly, though Bucky and Steve ignored me.

“We need eyes in this place, and especially in those back rooms, that’s where Garner and his men operate, and those rooms are _invitation only_ , exclusive to even the members of the club.” Steve eyed us both, waiting for the words to sink in.

I nodded my understanding, and he and Bucky did that wordless communication thing again.

“Nat and Bruce have been working this for weeks. You guys have two days; tops, _if_ we can even get your memberships pushed through at all on such short notice. Z, I suggest you talk to Nat, and Bucky, you talk to Bruce. Find out what works, what doesn’t, and go from there.”

I glanced up at the clock; it was just after two in the afternoon.

“Want to meet back here before dinner?” Bucky asked. “We can go over everything then eat.”

I nodded.

“Don’t forget, Nat’s picking the movie for tonight and she’s still on pain meds,” Steve warned.

Bucky and I cringed. Nat’s movie choices were spotty at best, but medicated, well, that was a different beast entirely. She gravitated toward artsy pieces that were almost guaranteed to knock me out cold.

Four hours later I found myself wandering back into the kitchen. It was time for dinner and someone had blessedly picked up a mountain of Chinese food. I stared at the boxes, nearly jumping out of my skin when Bucky’s hand landed on the small of my back.

“You gonna eat, or are you hoping to get your energy through osmosis?” He smirked as he handed me a plate.

I took it and smiled, licking my too dry lips as my breath stuttered in my lungs.

See, I’d learned some things from Nat. Things she and Bruce did inside that club to virtually guarantee an invite to the back. I realized I hadn’t thought this through entirely, and I was waiting for Bucky to call the whole thing off after his presumably equally enlightening conversation with Bruce.

Long story short, Nat and Bruce had sex in Serenity. Like, actual sex. In-front-of-people type sex. Did I mention there was sex?

When I didn’t move from my spot, Bucky gave one curt nod and put both our plates back down. “Right. We should talk.” He guided me toward the empty office and closed the door.

I sat in the middle of the sofa opposite the window. Bucky sat beside me, close enough that my cushion collapsed a bit under his weight, causing me to roll toward him a little. I absently wondered how much he weighed, and how much of his body weight was from his metal arm.

The things you think about when you’re trying to _not_ think about other things.

Like sex.

Sex with Bucky.

_Public_ sex with Bucky.

“I take it Natasha told you… _everything_.”

I nodded, though I kept my eyes trained staring out the window.

Bucky was silent for a bit, but I could feel his gaze on me. “Do you want to call this off, Z? It’s up to you; everyone will understand.”

I dropped my head then, sighing. I turned to face Bucky, and he ducked his head a bit so he could look into my eyes. We were very close, close enough that I could feel his breath and smell a scent that is uniquely him. My heartbeat sped up as I looked into his eyes. It took a maximum effort to keep my eyes fixed on his face. I always fought the urge to devour Bucky visually. I found him very attractive, to say the least. Even more so with that damn beard.

I shook my head. “No, I don’t want to call it off,” I said softly, and took note of the way Bucky seemed relieved at my admission. “I guess I just didn’t think it through all the way…you know?”

I shrugged before continuing. “I want to take this guy down. _Now_. Before he gets a real foothold in the market. He’s a heartbeat away from going global.” I nodded to myself more than anything. “I can do this, Bucky.”

I mean, it isn’t like he and I had to have actual sex. We just needed to be a sexy couple. Maybe some petting.

And if I’m being honest I wouldn’t mind that _at all_.

Bucky nodded. “Would it be easier if I asked Steve or Sam to step in instead of—“

“No!” I said quickly as I grabbed his knee. I chuckled when he placed both hands in the air in a placating gesture, though he smiled at my quick reaction. “No. That would be…weird. Like, making-out-with-your-brother weird.”

“I don’t want things to be weird with us,” Bucky said as he put his hand over mine.

“They won’t be,” I assured him. I certainly didn’t think of Bucky with any semblance of brotherly love.

_It won’t be weird,_ I thought to myself. _Unless you think it’s weird that I have a huge crush on you and I’ve thought about you naked every day since I first met you_.

That’s not weird, right?

He nodded. “Did Natasha tell you about the rules?”

This time I nodded. Natasha had been _very_ explicit.

“So you know they will grill us on consent, understanding limits…things like that.”

I nodded again.

“You’ll need a safe word,” Bucky said softly. “Or we can use the colors…red for stop, green for….”

“Won’t you need a safe word?”

Bucky’s slow, sultry smile did funny things to my insides.

“I don’t need a safe word, sweetheart.” Bucky’s voice was deep and low.

I returned his smile, my breath getting more and more shallow. I deduced exactly why Bucky didn’t need a safe word, and I suddenly felt very naive for even suggesting it. Bucky was very likely going to lead this show. “No, I don’t suppose you do,” I replied softly as I tucked an errant hair behind my ear and looked away. “Colors are fine.”

Bucky squeezed my hand in his. “What Natasha and Bruce did—“

My face flamed as I recalled exactly what Nat had told me.

“That’s not—“ Bucky trailed off, his eyes finally darting away from me. “According to Bruce, most people in the club are just there to watch. We can blend in…but it would be helpful if they thought we might—“ he stopped again, looking back to me, lifting his brows and dipping his chin, urging me to understand his unfinished thought.

“Of course.”

Bucky shifted again, this time scooting even closer. He kept both my hands in one of his, while his metal arm slipped behind me to settle on my lower back. “I think we should try to, maybe…” he shrugged, looking chagrined and embarrassed as a light blush pinked his cheeks, “get more comfortable with each other for the next couple of days. So we don’t look awkward inside the club.”

I stifled a smile as I turned to better face him. Since he’d scooted closer, our faces were now only inches apart, his left leg touched mine from hip to calf. My face heated at the thought of my unasked question. “Are you suggesting we… _make out_?”

He ducked his head before returning his gaze back to me. “Um, yeah. I am. We need to at some point…better to get comfortable now before the club.”

And holy hell his voice was deep, and gravelly, and sensual. I’d been given a flash of sexy, confident, 1940’s Bucky behind those tortured eyes. Molten lust pooled in my abdomen, and I felt my own warm wetness collect in my panties. Bucky’s jaws clenched and unclenched, and for a fleeting moment I wondered if he could scent my arousal.

We stared into each other’s eyes for a heartbeat and I had no doubt he absolutely could scent me.

Bucky stood quickly, startling me when he yanked me up with him. “We’re going to do this,” he said in a hushed tone as he pulled me against him, though I wasn’t sure if _this_ referred to the mission, making out, or both.

“What’s your color?” He whispered in my ear, his warm breath cascading down my neck.

He drew his nose along my neckline toward my jaw, making a production of scenting me. “Tell me, sweetheart, I need to _hear_ you.”

“G-green,” I stuttered. “I’m green.” _So fucking green_.

Bucky chuckled darkly in my ear, “Good girl.” He took my face in his hands, one cool, one warm. “I’m going to kiss you now.” He trailed the flesh of his thumb across my bottom lip, drawing my eyes to his face. “If I do anything you don’t like, stop me. If I cross a line, stop me. If I make you uncomfortable, stop me. I’m in charge, but you have all the power here. Remember your colors?”

I nodded as I bit my lip. My panties were officially ruined. Between his pet names and his dominant tone, I was a goner.

Bucky pressed his lips to mine softly at first, then his kiss grew more heated. I felt him tentatively swipe his tongue across my bottom lip and I eagerly opened for him. The small invitation seemed to break Bucky. He pressed my body to his, wedging one of his legs between mine until the hottest part of me, _the wettest part of me_ , rested against his thigh.

I hissed at the contact. It was too much and not enough, all at the same time.

Bucky fisted his flesh hand through my hair, pulling me back gently but firmly so he could look into my eyes. “Color?” He asked again, arching a brow.

“Green,” I answered quickly, desperate to feel his mouth on me again.

“Green,” he repeated in a whisper. “My new favorite color. Good girl, you respond so well.”

He settled us both back on the sofa, though he positioned me so I still straddled his thigh. He pressed me against him, dragging my core against his thick muscle. I shamelessly curled my hips toward him, battling his tongue for dominance as our hands roamed across each other for what felt like an eternity. Bucky slid me back down his thigh, bouncing his knee and eliciting a cry from me.

“Mmm, you gonna come for me kitten,” he asked moments before he bit down on my neck. It wasn’t a hard bite, but it was enough to hurt in the best way possible.

I turned my head, granting him even better access to my neck. “I might if you keep doing that.”

Bucky kissed my neck for several torturous and erotic moments before dragging my core back up and down his thigh several times. I could feel the huge bulge in his pants, and I made sure to put friction on it with every stroke he delivered.

Bucky pushed my hips down against his thigh roughly as he clenched his thigh muscle, causing me to cry out. He immediately caught my call, his mouth and tongue quickly drowning my moans.

“Bucky,” I panted, pulling away slightly so I could look at him. “I’m gonna…oh God, I’m gonna—“

Bucky shook his head. “No. No you’re not, kitten. Not until I say so.”

He was watching me, gauging me, though I knew he was on the verge of coming too. A small smile curled at the corners of my mouth as I leaned my thigh against the bulge in his pants to gain better friction with every pass.

“Fuck,” Bucky whispered, and I wasn’t sure if it was directed at me or just some random expletive he uttered in the throes of passion. I had a feeling Bucky would be divine when it came to talking dirty.

“What’s your color?” Bucky gritted out as he pressed me roughly against his thigh.

I was barely holding it together, shaking with my building orgasm. “ _Green!_ ”

Bucky pulled me down fully against him. “That’s my good girl,” he purred. “Tell me, kitten, what would your color be if I ripped off your fucking jeans, threw you on your back, and filled that tight, wet pussy with my come?”

I gasped as my body trembled; the mental picture he’d just painted nearly undoing me. “Oh God, Bucky. I’m gonna…I’m gonna come Bucky!” I was helpless to stop it; I felt my orgasm uncurling at the base of my spine.

“No!” He growled. “Tell me what color—“

“Green! So fucking green!” I called out.

Bucky pulled me back roughly, “My girl is so fucking perfect. Come for me, kitten,” he said through clenched teeth before crashing his lips to mine, stifling our moans.

We both shook as we came against each other, a fine sheen of perspiration coating us. I wiped Bucky’s hair away from his face as he moved mine away from my neck.

I really did hate it when my hair stuck to my neck.

“That was—“ I started to speak.

“Yeah,” Bucky whispered. “I think we’re gonna be—“

A booming knock made us both jump.

“Hey, if I gotta watch this damn foreign film, all y’all gotta watch it,” Sam’s voice carried through the thick wooden door. “Get your asses out here; movie starts in fifteen minutes.”

Bucky glanced toward the door, his face changing to a mask of darkness. “I’m gonna murder him in his sleep one day,” he promised as he stood, bringing me upright with him so that I could stand too.

“If you don’t, I will,” I said as I adjusted my clothes.

Bucky looked back to me, smiling at my empty threat. He looked embarrassed though, and I realized why after he spoke. “I need to—um, change my pants before the movie,” he chuckled darkly.

I stepped back, suddenly embarrassed myself. “Yeah…me too,” I shrugged.

“I’ll meet you in the living room in five minutes,” he said quickly as he kissed my forehead, smiling again. “I’ll save you a seat. I’ll be the one with egg rolls, so you have to sit next to me.”

I snickered. “Well, of course. How could I refuse that?”

“Five minutes,” he repeated, his hand already on the doorknob.

I nodded, smiling like a nincompoop.

“We’re good?”

I nodded again, still smiling. “We’re good.” I was freaking better than good. I was still blissed out from that intense orgasm, and all we’d done was some dry humping and a bit of dirty talk.

Bucky’s smile grew wider. “We are gonna knock this mission out of the park, doll,” he said, winking as he opened the door to sneak off to his room.

His words were like a cold shower. The mission. Of course. How could I forget? Everything we had just done was mission related. It was nothing more than a training exercise, not unlike sparring or target practice. It held all the passion of a day shooting with Clint or an afternoon practicing holds with Natasha. Nothing more.

Nothing more for Bucky anyway. For one, brief, shining moment it was more for me.

Bucky looked left and right then urged me out of the office toward my bedroom.

“See you in five,” he said, his hands still on my shoulders before we went in opposite directions at the split in the hallway.

I nodded, walking mindlessly to my room as I cleaned up a bit and put on a pair of soft, comfy leggings and long sleeve t-shirt. I pulled my hair up in a ponytail, needing it off my neck, then padded back toward the living room in my SpongeBob socks with a fake smile plastered on my face.

I snagged a bottle of water on my way, then dragged my favorite blanket with me to the sofa as I took my saved seat beside Bucky.

“How are you feeling, Nat?” I asked the convalescing redhead, gently pinching her toe as I passed her.

“Better,” she said as she cuddled against Bruce. “It’s not the first time I’ve been shot,” she quipped, staring poignantly at Bucky.

“Sorry,” he mouthed, making a mopey face.

I shook my head at the two assassins in our group. Sometimes it was hard for me to remember Bucky had been through so much. It really was remarkable that he was able to do his job now. Not just succeed at it, but also exceed in so many ways.

I made up my mind right then and there. If Bucky could do this, I could do this. If he could take all of his experiences and deal with his lot in life, then surely I could too.

So I had a crush on Bucky. So this next mission involved me getting _very_ up close and down right intimate with said crush. In the grand scheme of things, it was no big deal. Bucky, Nat, and heck…the rest of the team in general had dealt with far more difficult things than what I was facing in this mission. In fact, I decided to look at this mission as one part treat and one part actual work taking down an up and coming kingpin.

I decided we were definitely going to rock this mission, and we most certainly would knock it out of the park.

But deep down I also knew I would pay a price for it later; I could have my breakdown _after_ mission debriefing. It happened sometimes. I’d just request a couple of weeks off to decompress. I’d be okay.

Eventually.

I leaned back, taking the veggie roll Bucky offered since we’d missed dinner, and settled in for Natasha’s movie night.

An hour later, I came to the conclusion that Nat did this crap on purpose. She chose these God-awful foreign language French existentialist films that were guaranteed to put the entire team to sleep in record time so we could all get some rest.

It was her version of a sleeping pill. It _had_ to be.

Sam was already snoring quietly; even Steve was out like a light in the recliner. Bruce lolled with Nat in his arms, and I could see that even she was fighting sleep. My eyes were burning with the need to rest, and I stretched my legs out across the ottoman in front of us, my feet peeking out from under my blanket.

Bucky scooted closer, lifting my blanket slightly so he could slide under it too. It was an unusual move, and certainly not something he’d ever done before given that he and Steve ran much warmer than the rest of us and never really got cold.

Bucky hooked his foot under my leg so he could briefly hold my own foot in the air. “What’s this?” He whispered, no doubt making fun of my SpongeBob socks.

“It’s SpongeBob,” I whispered back.

Bucky’s expression was clear. He had no idea what I was talking about.

“He lives in a pineapple under the sea,” I said, knowing it would have no meaning to him.

His confused look caused me to snicker softly.

“I think I’m going to make everyone watch it when it’s my turn to have movie night.”

Bucky leaned even closer, his mouth mere centimeters from my ear. “It’ll be better than this,” he said softly.

“Are you kidding?” I quipped. “This is the best sleeping pill on the market,” I whispered conspiratorially as I gestured around the room. Everyone was unconscious now.

I yawned as my own tiredness grew.

“Go to sleep,” Bucky ordered as he pulled my head down against his chest and shoulder.

He was so warm I snuggled against him, turning on my side. Who was I to disobey an order?

“Yes sir, Sergeant Barnes,” I said softly as I curled into him, already half asleep.

Bucky groaned softly at my words, his body stiffening briefly as his breath caught in his chest. He quickly recouped, but even in my barely awake state I’d felt his reaction.

I smiled against his chest before slipping into blissful unconsciousness myself. I wasn’t the only one who was going to be tortured during this mission. Bucky might need to decompress _himself_ after this was all said and done.


	2. Limits

The telltale signs of early dawn woke me the next morning. I was still on the sofa, still curled under the blanket, and Bucky was still my pillow, though I was snuggled on his natural arm instead of his chest.

_No wonder I’d been plagued by some fantastically vivid wet dreams last night_ , I thought hazily to myself as I stretched.

My back was to Bucky’s chest, and his metal arm was across my body, effectively pinning me against him though he kept most of the weight off my body by buttressing his elbow close to me. It meant we were pressed together closely, but I wasn’t about to complain.

My bladder, however, had other ideas.

I shifted my weight to roll my body, or at least I _tried_ to shift my weight but ended up getting nowhere. When I wiggled back a bit, my butt ground against Bucky and I froze.

He was hard. Very, _very_ , hard.

I shifted again, trying to gain a bit of literal wiggle room but it was no use. I hated to wake him but I didn’t have a choice. Nature calls.

“Stop wiggling and go back to sleep,” Bucky growled behind me, pulling my body against his. He actually pressed his hardness into my backside and groaned. “You were having some pretty good dreams from the sound of things.”

I felt my full body blush. “Oh my God, Bucky,” I cringed, though I laughed softly to mask my embarrassment.

“Mmm,” Bucky hummed darkly behind me, his voice a rich baritone, “I might have heard that a few times while you were sleeping, but you should say it again just to be sure.”

I screwed my eyes shut though I continued to laugh at his teasing. I didn’t doubt the truth of his words though. I’d had some positively wicked dreams last night and he had a reoccurring starring role.

“Shut. Up. Bucky,” I said, elbowing him lightly with each word. “You have to let me up…I need to go to the bathroom, jerk.” I was still laughing as I chided him, so my admonishment was toothless.

“Fine. Go,” He quipped, finally releasing me. “And take your SpongeBob socks with you.”

When I rounded the sofa, he jumped over the back making to chase me to my bathroom. I darted down the hallway though I knew I’d never make it if he were seriously after me.

“No Bucky! No, no, no,” I repeated as I glanced over my shoulder. “I _need_ to go—“

I ran into a wall.

A Steve shaped wall.

Bucky’s ridiculously good reflexes meant he stopped short behind me, though I had maybe two inches between myself and either super soldier.

“I think I had a dream about this last night,” I blurted, nearly snorting at my own inside joke.

Bucky growled behind me before not so gently slapping my backside.

My eyes rounded at the loud _smack_ and I grabbed my backside before turning to fuss at Bucky. Steve looked quickly between both Bucky and myself, clearly not sure how to react.

“ _Ow_ ,” I complained, though, honestly, it didn’t hurt.

_Much._

Bucky narrowed his eyes at me, his sultry yet stern expression hinting at some promised punishment.

I swallowed as I broke eye contact with him, dropping my head to hide my arousal as I turned back around to face Steve. Bucky put his flesh arm around my chest and across my shoulders, dragging me flush against him and _away_ from Steve.

It was crazy possessive and _very_ dominate. If I didn’t know better, I’d say Bucky seemed almost jealous.

“Save it for the club, guys,” Steve chided us, “your e-vites just came through. _You’re in._ ” He held up his tablet to show us the display.

I gasped as I looked at the fancy images. Serenity looked pretty darn swanky.

“Wait,” I said as I quirked my brow, “did _you_ of all people just say ‘e-vites’?”

“What? I know things,” Steve balked.

I laughed out loud at his expression. “Awe, you old guys are so cute with your boiled food and big band music,” I said as I patted Bucky’s arm, signaling him to let go.

“Go ahead and laugh it up, sweetheart,” Bucky said as he released me, stepping back to give me some room, “but we aren’t the ones wearing those SpongeBob socks.”

We all looked down at my feet then, prompting me to cross one foot over the other.

My poor socks were certainly the butt of many jokes lately.

“You have a point,” Steve said as he lightly nudged my foot.

I stood up straight as I readjusted my ponytail, making my way to my bathroom. I turned to walk backwards so I could yell at them before ducking behind the door. “You guys are just jealous they don’t make these socks in freakishly giant, super soldier shoe sizes.”

“Hey, briefing in an hour, Z!” Steve yelled, prompting me to grunt back as I made my way through my room.

I turned on my shower, finished my morning routine, then took the hottest shower of my life. With any luck, we would be in Dublin soon and this mission would be in the books not long after that. I wondered if I could score some time off overseas. Maybe take a couple of weeks to roam around Ireland and figuratively lick my wounds.

I clutched at my chest. This was going to be hard, much harder than I’d initially thought yesterday. I often had the best clarity while showering. It was my sanctuary. Standing in the hot spray, I realized something terrifying. My crush, my harmless infatuation with Bucky, had morphed over the last eighteen months or so from something superficial to something substantial. I’d come to know him, and in that time my feelings for him had grown.

I sighed. Oh God…I think I might be in love with him.

The realization had me sagging against the cool tile for a moment as I continued to clutch my chest over my heart. Crimeny, this was such bad timing. Then again, love rarely comes by at an opportune moment.

I blew out a frustrated breath and gathered myself. I could squash this down and deal with it later. I was great at compartmentalization.

Squash it. Lock it up. Deal with it later.

I finished up in the bathroom and readied myself for the mission briefing.

We would arrive in Dublin Friday. Which meant in just over twenty-four hours we would be one step closer to stopping this kingpin in the making.

Serenity’s membership was odd. Participants were members for one weekend at a time, and normally the wait list was long. We’d been pushed through thanks to some string pulling and serious monetary donations.

Bucky and I learned we would be visiting during some sort of equestrian themed party night, though our outfits had already been secured.

“I hope you get assless chaps,” I said to Bucky in a serious tone, causing even Steve to lose his composure.

Bucky’s jaw dropped marginally, though he laughed out loud at my jibe. “I see how it is,” he replied coolly, “so eager to see my ass already.”

Sam clapped his hands, still laughing. “Oh my _God_ , I hope he gets assless chaps too…and I want pictures, baby girl. I’m gonna make me some Christmas wrapping paper out of that shit.”

“Can I get a roll of that too?” Nat asked casually.

Steve shook his head, “Okay guys, settle down. That brings up a good point.” He looked around the table. “As you know, there are no cameras in this place, and sneaking anything in will be next to impossible…security has been tightened after the incident.”

He glanced at Nat. She looked irked but she knew it wasn’t their fault the mission was altered. These things happen, this was fieldwork, and you better roll with the punches.

“The big _green_ incident,” Bruce chimed in, sighing heavily.

“Don’t,” I said sternly to Bruce. “Everyone is here, around this table, and that’s _all_ that matters.”

“She’s right,” Steve agreed. “And we’ve made the necessary changes to the mission. We can still do this, and T’Challa and his people are counting on us.”

We all nodded somberly as Steve explained how security details had been modified. No cameras extended to any electronic devices, and I wondered about Bucky’s arm. Apparently, the vibranium wouldn’t trigger a metal detector, and the components and power sources within his arm were an odd mesh of organic and inorganic compounds meaning Shuri was some kind of medical genius and had supplied Bucky with a freaking amazing prosthetic.

She even sent a cover skin for his arm. It fit the entire arm and shoulder area like a glove, apparently, and connected across his chest just under his right arm.

It was good thinking, because that metal arm would have been a dead giveaway as to who we really were; almost as bad as Bruce’s green moment.

Nat and Bruce explained that there were no cameras at all within Serenity, and that staff members were strategically placed to ensure everyone followed the rules.

“You may not realize it, but you’re _always_ being watched,” Natasha said, purposely holding eye contact with both Bucky and myself. “Not everyone is a guest. They have staff on the floor mingling with members.”

“You’ll need to keep your eyes open, remember details, and report back once you’re in the hotel,” she said, mostly directing her attention to me.

I was the least experienced field agent after all. Technically, I wasn’t even a field agent. I was a science and technology agent, though I did do fieldwork from time to time. I was _way_ more comfortable inside a lab than I was on assignment. I was only covering for Natasha in Wanda’s absence, presumably she and Viz would have taken this assignment.

Mission briefing wrapped up in time for lunch, though I was too nervous to have much of an appetite.

“Hey,” Bucky called after me as we were leaving the boardroom. “You mind helping me with this thing?” He asked, holding the cover Shuri sent.

“No problem.”

Fifteen minutes later we had a problem. A big problem.

Bucky stood in front of me in his bedroom, shirtless and looking ridiculously good. We’d managed to place the cover over his arm. It was a bit like trying to put on stockings, but the skin itself seemed to adhere and grab at certain spots. Bucky said it felt like the cover was connecting with sensors in his arm, probably enabling him to hide the vibranium without compromising the function.

Once the cover was in place, I stepped back and gaped. _Holy hell, it looked like skin_. The cover blended seamlessly; his arm, his shoulder…even across his chest where it connected under the opposite arm. It even had the nuances of human skin, with a smattering of dark hair and freckling almost tattooed in, and texture, lines, and ridges filled out the rest; there were even fingernails and knuckle ridges on his hand.

Shuri was some kind of Harry Potter skilled wizard. It’s really the only explanation.

Bucky held up his hand, flipping it over from time to time to examine the new look from every angle.

“I look normal,” he said softly.

I dropped my arms to my sides, making a production out of hitting my hands on my hips. “You were never normal, Buck.”

Bucky laughed before quickly lunging at me, gently capturing me with his now covered metal arm. He pulled me closer to his body, spinning me so that my back was to his chest. He extended his left arm in front of me, opening and closing his hand, encouraging me to examine it closely.

“How does it feel?” he asked as I stroked his forearm before placing my right hand over his open left hand, mirroring him.

“Different,” I said reverently. It felt like skin, just cooler.

“Good different or bad different.”

“Not bad,” I said quickly, picking up on his unease. “Just different.”

We stood like that for several minutes, both of us touching each other easily.

“How does it feel to you?” I asked. “I mean, when I touch you, does it feel different?”

Bucky shook his head behind me. “Feels the same. It’s like I’m not wearing anything.”

“Man she’s good,” I said, spinning so I could face him and examine the material that crossed his shoulder and chest area.

I looked up at Bucky’s face, surprised to find his eyes on me rather than his newly covered arm. I stepped back a bit, feigning that I was trying to get a better look at the _whole package_ when in reality I felt the need to put a bit of distance between myself and Bucky’s heated gaze.

“Seriously Bucky, if you didn’t know what to look for, you wouldn’t even know it’s there. That’s crazy,” I whispered, awestruck. “Stay there, I’ll get Steve!”

I dashed out of his room, thankful for the reprieve. Shirtless Bucky was too much for my lust-addled brain right now. I needed interference; I needed Steve.

“Come on, Steve,” I said, grabbing his hand as I lead him out of the kitchen and towards Bucky’s room. “You gotta see this.”

I dragged poor Steve behind me as he protested the loss of his sandwich. I knew from experience it was probably already gone. You couldn’t leave food unattended in this house; between Sam, Steve, Bucky, and even Bruce, someone was going to devour it.

We walked into Bucky’s bedroom to find him standing in front of his mirror. His reflected eyes darted from his arm in the mirror, to my hand before meeting my own eyes in the mirror again. He arched an eyebrow.

I knew exactly what that look meant; that look meant Bucky was jealous of Steve. That look meant he didn’t like the fact that I was holding Steve’s hand. Except I wasn’t. Not anymore. At this point, Steve was the one holding _my_ hand.

It was purely for support; Steve hadn’t seen Bucky like this since the forties.

I used my other hand to gingerly guide Steve toward Bucky, finally freeing my hand from his. Bucky lowered his chin, giving me another look in the mirror. I smiled, secretly liking that he and I could have these wordless conversations now too. I was getting good at Bucky speak. I knew he would bring this up later, but I couldn’t figure out why that ignited such a fire in my abdomen.

I’d never been the type of girl to get turned on by jealous guys before.

Actually, I don’t think anyone has ever even been jealous over me. I mean I’m a glorified nerd, not a bombshell secret agent.

Steve marveled at Shuri’s handiwork, asking Bucky a plethora of questions while I sat on Bucky’s bed with my legs crisscrossed and my elbows on my knees. I enjoyed watching them interact with each other; there was an easiness there that was exclusive to their relationship. They were obviously more than childhood friends; these two were brothers in almost every sense of the word. I smiled as I watched them. They were probably adorable as kids.

“All right,” Bucky said, having finally had enough of the poking and prodding, “I’m taking it off. Don’t want to wear it out before I actually need it.”

Steve nodded; grabbing the box Shuri had given him. “Hey, I need to send you guys the forms from Serenity. Your covers and other personal information have already been entered, but Nat thought you guys should go over your—“ Steve hesitated, looking uncomfortable, “ _limits_ and stuff together. Just in case they ask you about each other at the club.” Steve rubbed his hand across his chest. It was a nervous habit he rarely entertained. “And they might,” he added. “Buck, I’ll send it to your tablet.”

“We can work on it now if you want,” Bucky said to me as he peeled away the cover.

I shrugged and nodded my agreement. Might as well get it over with.

“Thanks man,” Bucky said to Steve as he left the room, leaving me alone with Bucky.

Bucky closed the bedroom door and I didn’t think anything of it…until I heard the lock click.

I turned my head, looking at the doorknob then up at him.

“So we aren’t interrupted,” he said darkly yet artificially innocent.

I lifted my chin once, though I narrowed my eyes at him.

Bucky’s tablet chimed, letting us know Steve sent the forms. I leaned over to retrieve the tablet and Bucky slid onto the bed. He scooted up toward his pillows, then quickly dragged me from my position so that I was seated between his legs with my back resting against his chest.

The entire thing happened so fast I barely had time to register my shift in position. I honestly thought I was falling.

“What the hell Bucky?”

I felt Bucky shrug behind me. “This way we can both see and you can use two hands on the tablet. It doesn’t pick up the vibranium.” He tapped the screen to show me.

I shook my head once, though I didn’t argue. It actually made sense.

We scanned through the form and I laughed when I spotted our names. “James and Elizabeth Bonham,” I said. “We got married. I’m guessing Steve didn’t pick the last name.”

“What makes you say that, doll?”

“Bonham? Isn’t that some famous rock-n-roll guy?”

“Rock what?”

I inhaled, prepared to give Bucky a crash course in classic rock then changed my mind. “Never mind.”

“Or could be Tiny Bonham,” Bucky added.

I blanked out. “I don’t know who that is, Buck.”

“From the ’43 Yankees.”

I lifted my chin. That actually made sense. “I still don’t know who that is, but it sounds plausible.”

We scanned through our covers and personal history. Apparently, we were going to Serenity for our one-year wedding anniversary. We’d made our fortune in natural gas and oil fields in Indiana of all places, meaning _James_ worked long hours while _Elizabeth_ spent a lot of time and money at events like _Ladies who Lunch_ and _Bangs or Botox_ seminars.

Things got pretty interesting, though, once we clicked on the following page. There must have been at least two hundred questions involving sex, sexuality, and alternative lifestyles.

We were five questions in and I’d already had to click the _About This Item_ link four times.

“Bucky, I thought you would know more about this junk. Ladies man my ass,” I joked as I clicked the link one more time. We were quite the pair.

“Hey,” Bucky protested. “I never seriously dated anyone, and the last time I was even _with_ a woman half this stuff didn’t exist. I mean, why would anybody do _that_?” He asked, pointing to something particularly odd. “How does that even—Just why?”

I laughed. “I don’t know, but that’s a hard _no_ for both of us.”

Several more clicks and we were well within more every day parameters for each of us. The questions were more or less what I would consider mainstream.

“I think we should be more liberal with our yes’s here,” I said over my shoulder. “Like you said, we want them to think we are open to—“ I rolled my head forward, encouraging him to follow my drift without actually saying _we want them to think we are open to having sex in front of everyone_.

My face blushed anyway.

“You’re definitely an exhibitionist,” I jabbed. “Probably a voyeur.” I continued clicking items. “What about ménage?” I asked. “M/M/F or M/F/F?”

“No,” Bucky said succinctly.

“To which one?” I asked, almost certain he, like most guys, would be open to the whole one dude with two women fantasy.

“Both. I don’t share.”

I dropped my hand away from the tablet. His answer had surprised me.

“What about you?” He asked. “I’m guessing you might be open…I’ve seen you flirt with Steve.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” I said as I turned to better face him. “I never flirted with Steve.”

Bucky gave me a dark look.

“When did _I_ flirt with Steve?”

“Sweetheart, you were just holding his hand not thirty minutes ago.”

“Yeah, dragging him to _your_ room so he could see _you_. I wasn’t whisking him away to my room for some afternoon delight, _creeper_ ,” I poked him in the chest to drive my point home.

“What about this morning?”

I shook my head, waiting for him to elaborate. When he didn’t I narrowed my eyes at him before speaking. “ _What about this morning_?”

“When you implied you’d had a dream about you, me, and Steve?”

“Oh my God, Bucky! I was saying that to make _you_ laugh because you were making fun of me for talking in my sleep. Steve had no idea what you and I were even talking about.” I huffed. “I did _not_ have a sex dream about Steve.” I got all flustered. “But I’m probably going to _now_ because you put it in my head!”

Bucky picked me up like I weighed nothing, spinning me so quickly I had that feeling of falling yet again. When it was over, I was straddling his lap for the second time in as many days.

“I think you like makin’ me jealous, doll.”

He was still shirtless and I couldn’t stop myself from taking a peek or three.

“Remember what I told you last night?” He waited a heartbeat before speaking again. “ _I’m in charge_. The only name I want to hear rolling off this tongue at night is mine. Understand?’

I swallowed, my lips parting to gulp down air.

“ _Understand?_ ”

“Yes. _Bucky_ ,” I emphasized his name just for him, smiling sweetly as I did it though I was being a bit of a smartass. I bit down on my lip, considering my wayward thoughts before committing to an outlandish idea that had just blossomed in my brain. “Yes, Sergeant Barnes, _sir_.”

In the blink of an eye, Bucky had me on my back while he was poised over me, grinding his fully hard erection against my core. I nearly whimpered at the feeling. Last night’s make out session had been intense despite the fact that I wore thick jeans, but today I was clad only in thin leggings. I wasn’t even wearing any underwear. I could feel every seam in his black jeans as he moved against me, and the _very_ hard bulge behind his zipper.

“What’s your color, Z?” he growled into my ear as he nuzzled my neck.

“Green,” I breathed the word. I raised my hips to meet Bucky’s grinding movement.

“You weren’t trying to make me jealous?”

“No,” I answered quickly. “I promise. When I’m with someone, I’m with him. Even if it’s a mission.”

Bucky’s face clouded as his jaw clenched and unclenched and for a moment I thought he was going to argue with me. He looked angry, or even hurt. Or maybe he simply didn’t believe me.

Whatever it was passed as he dragged his hand up the front of my shirt, not so gently rolling a painfully pebbled nipple between his fingers before speaking. “Just remember,” he said softly as he leaned down, “you are _mine_ until this mission is over.”

I didn’t have a chance to nod or acknowledge him because he crashed his mouth to mine in a possessive, dominant kiss. It was little more than a meeting of lips, teeth, and tongues, but it left me breathless and craving him.

Once again I found myself flipped around, though he slapped my ass again before hauling me against his chest. “Now, let’s finish this list,” he growled against my neck as he held me in place.

Thankfully, we were nearly finished. I could feel Bucky’s erection pressed into my backside. He was still fully hard and throbbing; I had no idea how he was even concentrating on the task at hand…I was struggling myself. I wondered what it would be like to taste him, and what he would do if I turned around and licked him from base to tip. I wondered just how far Bucky would go during this mission, just how far Bucky would let _me_ go.

“I think we’re finished,” I said as I ticked the last few boxes, sending the data to Steve. “That’s everything Mr. and Mrs. Bonham are into for their anniversary.”

Bucky was quiet and made no move to release me.

“I wonder what we will have to wear…I’m kinda nervous about that,” I said as I absently rubbed his knee.

“Why?” It was monosyllabic and very _Winter Soldier ’ish_ but I’d take it. Communication is communication, and I’d felt like he was shutting down on me for a while.

I rolled my shoulder as I shrugged. “I’m not as confident as the rest of you guys. I’m normally hiding in a lab behind a computer. I’m not like Nat or even Wanda.”

“What do you mean?” Bucky pushed as he leaned forward a bit, finally shaking off his funk.

“They’re just… _confident_. Very comfortable with who they are. I’m—“ I huffed. “I mean, I wear SpongeBob socks, Bucky,” I turned my head giving him a lopsided grin. “I’m quirky as all get out, and I know it. I’m rarely comfortable in my own skin. I just wish I had a little bit of what _they_ have…you know?”

“You’re beautiful, Z,” Bucky said softly as he wrapped his arm around my middle, his tone and mannerisms finally warming again. “And you’re sexy as hell,” he laughed softly as he continued, “and for some reason the fact that you don’t even realize you’re sexy makes you even sexier.”

“Bucky—“

“And I actually _like_ those damn socks.”

I laughed out loud when he said that, and he hugged me to him before letting me go.

“Thank you Bucky,” I said before kissing him softly on the cheek. Despite everything we’d done together in the last twenty-four hours, that single, chaste kiss seemed highly charged and oddly intimate. “You’re sweet.”

He kissed my hand before fully releasing me. It was a tender gesture. “Yeah, well don’t tell anyone else. I don’t want to tarnish my reputation around here. I’m the only broody, dark assassin and I can’t lose my spot.”

“You’re secret’s safe with me, Sarge,” I said as I unlocked the door, noting how his eyes darkened at my use of the moniker.

I jumped when I found Steve on the other side, poised to knock.

“Hey! I was just going to ask Bucky if he wanted to hit the gym before we leave tomorrow,” Steve said to me though Bucky made his way to the door to stand right behind me.

I stood off to the side as much as I could to allow the guys to talk, but I did purposefully step back into Bucky’s space as he addressed Steve. For some reason I wanted him to understand I was definitely _not_ flirting with Steve, and I didn’t think of Steve _that way_ at all.

“You guys have a good workout,” I called out as we disbanded.


	3. Control

I managed to finish my packing and I tried on my equestrian outfit. It was oddly cute and not terribly uncomfortable. Nothing was overtly sexual, though the leather seat breeches were very snug and left nothing to the imagination, they were still the sort of pants I’d grown up wearing when I would ride horses.

As a kid they’d helped me stay in the saddle, as an adult I realized these breeches helped my butt look kind of amazing. And even though the pants were tight, they moved with you like really great leggings.

Why wasn’t I wearing these damn things on missions? _Next mission involving a motorcycle, I’m wearing these_ , I thought idly to myself.

Judging by the lingerie I’d be wearing underneath my clothing, I speculated a good chunk of the buttons on the white blouse were likely meant to remain unbuttoned.

Nat came into my room just as I was slipping on the riding boots.

“Do you have any idea how hard it was to find boots like that in your tiny shoe size?” she asked as she eased herself down onto my bedside.

“I can only imagine,” I said as I admired the sleek and elegant design.

Natasha stared at me as I examined my reflection.

“Well?” I asked.

“You look good, kid.”

I rolled my eyes at her reflection. “Gee, _thanks_.”

“Are you going to fuck him?”

I sucked in a sharp breath, nearly choking on it. “ _Ho-ly shit_ , Nat, what the hell?” I turned to face her; surely I’d misunderstood.

Natasha just sat on the edge of my bed, staring at me with a half grin on her face. “Well? Bruce and I have a bet…I say _yes_.”

I stood, staring, mouth agape.

“What? You guys have off the charts chemistry. And Barnes _definitely_ needs to get laid.”

I shook my head again. “What? _What?_ You can’t seriously think I could just…do _that_ in public for a mission.”

Natasha rolled her eyes. “I do think you could do _that_ and I don’t think it would end with the mission, either. You guys actually like each other. Weirdos,” she added, though she smiled sweetly.

My gut knotted. She wasn’t entirely wrong. I could seriously do _that_ with Bucky, though I highly doubted I could do anything in public. For one thing, I was just too shy. And for another, I wasn’t exactly super experienced. I’d only seriously dated two people in my life, and only one of those had resulted in a physical relationship.

Of course I kept all that to myself.

I sat on the edge of my bed across from Natasha. “We do have great chemistry,” I confided to Nat, and she turned to better face me. “But I think what you’re seeing is Bucky helping me train for the mission. Nothing more. It’s what he always does; what any of you always do when I’m assigned to a field operation.”

“Pffft, I call bullshit on that. Barnes has been into you since the minute he opened your personnel file before you even walked into this house.”

I furrowed my brow. I didn’t even know the team went over that information.

Natasha ducked her chin so she could give my some serious eyeball. “I’m serious. Have you ever known Barnes to go out of his way to help anyone else with a mission?”

I threw my head back. “No one else _needs_ help like I do, Nat. You _all_ help me.”

“Not true. We help each other, but Bucky generally shows us all our weaknesses.” Nat looked kind of pissed about that; she worked hard to hide any weakness, but Bucky did have a way of ferreting out flaws and missteps when they trained.

Though, truth be told, Natasha would do the exact same thing. If she found a weakness, she would exploit it. They were actually very similar to each other.

“He’s different with you, Z. We all see it…you’ve just never known him any other way.”

I shrugged. “I don’t know, Nat. Honestly, I _am_ the weakest link when it comes to ops—“

“You’re his _girl_ , Z.”

My eyes widened a bit at her statement. If Bucky had ever called me _his girl_ , in _that_ way at least, I’d certainly never heard it from him. It was a phrase Bucky would say, though, and my heart did beat a bit faster at the prospect of him calling me _his girl_ …as juvenile as that may sound.

“So,” Nat continued, “are you gonna fuck him?”

“Gah!” I exclaimed as I flopped my body across the bed, jostling Natasha in the process.

The redhead laughed though she held her side. Clearly I’d hurt her when I performed my graceless flop since she was still recuperating from a freaking gunshot wound to her side.

“Oh! I’m so sorry,” I exclaimed as I reached out to her.

Nat shooed my hand away, “It’s fine. Besides, I needed the laugh. Bruce has been so serious lately.”

We were both quiet for a while, each of us dwelling on our own deep thoughts.

“I don’t think I can do casual sex,” I finally said out loud.

“So don’t,” Nat said matter-of-factly. “I don’t think that’s what Bucky is looking for anymore.”

Her use of the word _anymore_ had galled me. I’d known Bucky was a ladies man back in the day. Of course, back in the day was seventy years ago, and during the height of the war, but still, hearing Nat voice his prowess stung a bit. I’d even go so far as to say it made me a bit jealous.

And _that_ made me feel like a hypocrite given I’d jumped all over Bucky when he’d said _I_ was making him jealous.

I propped myself up on my elbow so I could look at Natasha. “Has he—“ I hesitated as I traced the stitching in my comforter, “I don’t know, _dated_ anyone in a while?”

“Why? Are you jealous?”

Damn Natasha. I couldn’t get anything past her.

“No.” _Yes._ “I’m just curious…I mean, if he hasn’t dated, and he’s just starting to feel like his old self again, maybe he’s just looking for something—I don’t know, physical.” Like the old Bucky would.

_And he does seem like a physical kind of guy_ , I thought to myself.

Natasha huffed as she sat up straighter. She curled her arm around the pillow, using it to support herself through the pain of moving. I felt bad for her, but I knew she wouldn’t accept any help from me so I let her maneuver herself until she was standing. When she was up, she threw her damn pillow in my face. _Hard_.

“You _jerk_ ,” I quipped as I rubbed my face. “I think you broke my nose,” I joked.

“He hasn’t dated anyone because he hasn’t been interested in anyone. At least until _you_ came along.” Natasha shook her head as she smiled down at me, yanking her pillow back to her side. “As for the old Bucky, he’s gone, kiddo. That Bucky will never be back. Bucky is who he is…and I think he’s finally made his peace with that.”

I nodded. It made sense.

“Now get your ass up and help this injured woman make some food. I’m starved.”

“Fine,” I chuckled, “but I’m wearing these pants…they are hella comfortable.”

“Yes, and they look great with that Scooby Doo neon pink shirt, dork.”

We laughed as we make our way into the kitchen. I ordered Nat to sit at the island and miracle of miracles she actually did as I requested. I made us both a grilled cheese and tomato sandwich with some veggies. We were surprisingly full after eating and talking.

“Seriously,” I said as I crouched down to put the pans back in a cabinet, “check this out. These pants are freaking amazing. They _feel_ freaking amazing but they stretch like a pair of sweatpants.”

“Yeah, but can you bend over and touch your toes?” Natasha giggled as she tossed the last brussel sprout in her mouth.

I stood, bending at my waist to see if I could touch my toes. Lo and behold, I did. Easily in fact.

“Hey, and your ass looks great with that leather inlay too,” Nat laughed.

I spread my feet apart to laugh at her, though I held my position. “Okay, I’ll keep that in mind…stay in this position to make my ass look good—got it!”

Of course Bucky and Steve chose that _exact_ moment to walk into the kitchen. So that’s how they found me. In the kitchen, bent over at the waist with my freaking _ass_ in the air, talking to Natasha through my spread legs.

“Hey guys,” I chuckled, knowing full well my face was tomato red. I was hoping to play it off as a result of being bent over, but in reality I was embarrassed as all get out because I was ass up in front of not one but _two_ handsome men. “Just…testing my new equestrian pants,” I said casually as I stood back up and smacked my own ass.

_Why did I just smack my own ass?_ I thought to myself.

And thanks to the leather inlay, the smack was so loud.

So, _so_ loud.

Natasha choked on her brussel sprout. Hell, I nearly choked on my own embarrassment. We both snort laughed in a most unladylike manner.

“Th-They look good,” Steve stammered, his face also turning red.

Bucky smacked Steve across the back of the head, again giving me a glimpse of their boyhood.

“What the heck, Bucky,” Steve said as he ducked too late, “I’m just sayin’—“

“We all heard what you were just sayin’, buddy,” Bucky growled as he gave me a look.

“Thank you Steve,” I said smugly, smiling at him before turning to give Bucky an equally menacing, though mocking, glare. “I really like these pants.” I said to no one in particular. “I mean these might be my go to mission pants from now on.”

“Hell yes, girl,” Sam said as he dashed into the kitchen for a water refill.

“No, hmm-mmm,” Bucky hummed. “You are _not_ wearing those on missions.”

“Well, I mean, not without the Scooby shirt, of course,” Sam chimed in, laughing at his own joke. “Ruh-roh, Hydra.”

Which, of course, sent Natasha and I into a cry-laugh fit while Steve and Bucky completely missed the joke.

Gotta work on the animated classics with those two guys.

“What time do we leave tomorrow, Steve?” I asked, ready to give Bucky a reprieve. He seemed wound tight so I thought I’d make an excuse to leave so I could give him some space.

It was that same weirdness that always came between us. Sometimes I felt like he was mad at me or irritated with me. I knew it was likely something going on in his head, but sometimes it was hard not to take things personally.

“We’ll leave at o’five hundred.”

Why couldn’t he say five in the morning like a normal person?

“Why do we always leave at dark o’clock?” I whined. “Why can’t we leave at ten, or even noon? Just one mission leaving at noon…I don’t feel like that’s too much to ask.”

“Okay,” Steve acquiesced. “How about five thirty?”

“Yay,” I deadpanned. “Dark thirty.” I faux pouted. “It’s better. I’ll take what I can get…thank you.”

We bumped arms as I passed him. I hazarded a glance at Bucky, who was still giving me the stink eye. I rolled my eyes then made my way to Natasha.

“We should eat an early dinner. I’ll pick up Garden Café if you guys will text me what you want. Let Bruce know, Nat,” I said as I started to leave.

“You’re not wearing them,” Bucky called out again, drawing me back into the kitchen doorway.

“Damn it, Bucky, _I will and I am_ ,” I growled.

“I’m so, so looking forward to winning my bet,” Natasha sing-songed, further irritating me.

“You!” I pointed to Bucky, “and _you_!” I pointed to Nat. “Both of you, just, grrrr!” I stomped off.

Sure. It would have looked much more menacing if I hadn’t been wearing a neon pink Scooby shirt.

And if I were taller than five feet and one whole inch.

And if I didn’t have a bouncing pony tail.

A couple of hours later I had everyone’s food order submitted for pick up, and to my surprise Bucky volunteered to go with me to grab the food. We made our way to the only sedan Tony owned, and Bucky followed me to the passenger side so he could open my door for me. It wasn’t an unusual gesture, he’d done it many times before, but this time he crowded me against the car door instead of opening it for me, catching me off guard.

“Bucky?” I questioned, raising an eyebrow at his proximity.

“I’m sorry about earlier…I really do like these pants,” Bucky said gruffly though he slid his right hand down across my backside.

“Gee, thanks Bucky. You sound so sincere,” I said as I lightly pinched his cheek.

“Hmpf,” Bucky grunted as he lightly touched his boot to mine. “It’s just—I don’t know.”

“Oh, I know,” I half laughed. “You are the type of guy who needs to be in charge, Bucky.” He leveled his gaze with mine and I knew I was right. “But here’s the thing, remember what you told me? Remember when you said you might be in charge, but _I_ have the power?”

Bucky’s small smirk indicated he did indeed remember our conversation that night…and probably quite a bit more.

“Well,” I continued, “the truth is I don’t mind you having control when it’s us, but when it comes to matters outside the bedroom… _stuff_ ,” my God, my face was flaming, “or when it comes to missions, you can’t control me. Deal?”

Bucky stood stock-still, looming over me.

“Bucky?” _Earth to Winter Soldier?_ I thought to myself, given the dark look I was currently receiving.

Bucky broke eye contact to look around the garage before settling his gaze back on me. “I like that you give me that control, Z,” he said, his voice sexy and gravelly again.

My eyes darted to his mouth as he swiped his tongue across his lower lip before biting it. The site of him doing that turned my insides into molten lava.

“I thought this might be a good opportunity for us to test the waters in public, doll. What do you say?”

I nodded. “M’kay,” I shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant though on the inside I was a bubbling pile of goo.

“Nothing major,” Bucky lowered his voice. “Just a bit of touching, maybe some kissing,” he said as he cupped my jaw, “you know, things lovers do.”

I held my breath when he ran his thumb across my lips.

Bucky leaned down to whisper in my ear as he pulled my core against his thigh, “I’ll try not to ruin these pants, but I’m not makin’ any promises, sweetheart.” He licked the shell of my ear before gently biting my earlobe and placing several slow, searing kisses down my neck, sending shivers down the column of flesh and causing my nipples to pebble.

I sucked in a sharp breath, surprised by his move. Bucky took the opportunity to kiss me, quickly dominating me. He used one hand to fist my hair, holding me to him, while the other hand roughly grasped my ass to grind my core against his thigh.

My head swirled as Bucky pressed me against the car. I knew I should show him I could give as well as I could get, but I was a confused, hormonal mess at the moment.

“Bucky?” I breathed between kisses, “How about you worry about what’s going on inside your own pants instead of what’s going on inside of mine, hmmm?” I asked coyly as I slid my left hand down his abs.

I felt his stomach muscles quiver and I relished the effect I was having on him. Of course he stopped moving altogether as my hand slipped lower, below his belt and over his cloth-covered crotch. I cupped his erection, rubbing him up and down over his jeans several times.

Bucky grunted and pressed me against the car; his thigh still pressed between my legs as he ground me against him. His kisses were no longer probing and gentle; my aggressive, dominant Bucky was back.

His right hand covered mine as I rubbed him through his jeans. “Feel what you do to me, sweetheart.”

“All of this is for me?” I feigned innocence.

“Every _inch_ ,” he growled before kissing me with such need I felt as if I might ignite.

Just then a high-pitched horn honked, breaking the moment.

“What the _fuck_?” Tony said as he and Peter pulled in to park next to the sedan. “There are children present,” he said, gesturing to Peter.

Peter’s face reddened. “Mr. Stark, I’m not _actually_ —“

“Shhh, child. _Shhh_ ,” Tony gestured dramatically.

“Hey,” I said as stepped away from Bucky and leaned down toward Tony’s window. “Language, mister…in front of the children.”

I winked at Peter though, letting him know I didn’t actually think he was a child.

Tony’s eyes rounded. “Don’t you start on me too, Elizabeth Finnegan,” Tony said as he prepared for a tirade. “I get enough from Rogers, I don’t need another one!”

His voice faded as I climbed into our car, Bucky closed the door behind me. They had a muffled conversation that I couldn’t understand, though Bucky did shake his head at me as he rounded the front of the sedan so he could get in on the driver’s side.

We exited the garage with Tony still yelling empty threats at us. Funny enough he also texted an order update to me so he and Peter could join us for dinner.

Tony was a man of many layers, that’s for sure.

We made it to the café with time to spare, so we meandered around the shopping area. We window shopped, we joked and laughed, we held hands and appeared like any other couple in love to the outside world. My insides flip flopped every time Bucky would pull me closer or kiss my forehead; this mission was doing nothing but fueling the fire for my already smoldering Bucky crush.

Who was I kidding? I was well beyond crush territory now.

My chest would implode every single time I thought about this being over, though. And after this weekend it would be over.

I decided I would enjoy it for the time I had left, so I drank in everything he gave me, committing it to memory for the heartache ahead.

We hauled an outrageous amount of food home with us. I’m sure the café thinks we routinely feed a small army when we pick up our cadre of calories, but two super soldiers and a hulk tend to tuck in to just about anything.

I hit the sack feeling full, nervous, excited, and melancholy, so needless to say dark-thirty rolled around way sooner than I would have liked. The flight to Ireland was blessedly calm, and I managed to catch a few winks on Bucky’s shoulder. When we landed, though, the cool, damp Irish weather made me want to shrink in on myself.

I hated the cold. The only thing I hate more is being cold and wet. And the only thing I hate more than that is being cold, wet, _and_ hungry.

Steve instructed us that we would leave the airport in a private car so we could arrive at our hotel. Our suite and cover had been arranged by Tony, and another private car would transport us to the club. Our membership was good for Friday and Saturday, just one weekend. We were guaranteed inside the club, but we would need to procure an invitation to the selective back rooms by tonight or we might never find details regarding Garner’s operation.

We had _one_ night to get that invitation. Natasha and Bruce had _three_ _weekends_.

Garner was using the club as his base to synthesize his drug, hoping the very nature of the club itself would keep people from prying, as well as willingly using members as shields if necessary.

We were hoping to find out exactly where is labs were located so we could go in with minimal damage and exposure. Though T’Challa was understandably eager to take down the lab at any cost, Tony was reasonably sure at least two of the three investors knew nothing of the operation, and he didn’t want to ruin a unique business…though I had my suspicions as to why.

Maybe he and Pepper were into this kind of thing. I could certainly see the draw. It was thrilling and exotic.

Well, to _me_ anyway.

Bucky and I arrived at our hotel. It was fancy and screamed _money_ in a way that neither of us would ever get used to. We checked in and were escorted to our suite…which was giant by European standards.

I’d traveled abroad some, privately, in my youth. My room in London was little more than closet sized, if you didn’t mind your closet having both a shower and a toilet as well as your bed.

Paris? Same.

Rome? Same, except they collected every glass bottle ever manufactured at 3 a.m. right outside my window.

This place though, it was opulent and so very _Tony Stark_. There was a living room with two sofas and several chairs, a television that only made an appearance if you pressed a button so it could raise from a cabinet, a fully stocked bar, a dining area, and a private bedroom with the biggest bed I’ve ever seen. The master bath was bigger than my entire bedroom back at the compound. I felt like I might require a life jacket to get in the tub.

“Wow,” Bucky said as we made our way through the rooms.

“I agree,” I replied quietly.

We walked around for a few more minutes, both of us taking in the place. Bucky glanced at a clock and indicated we should get ready since our car would be arriving soon.

We each stepped inside one of the two closets in the master bath. My bag looked puny and out of place in the closet. Heck, I felt puny and out of place…even in the closet.

I slipped on my outfit for the evening, loving the bra and panty set. It was super soft and at all not scratchy like most lace. The bra was very lacy, though not see-through, and the balconette cups were exceedingly flattering. I spun around, feeling sexy and dorky at the same time.

I slipped on my pants, still loving the way they felt. I was oddly thankful for the breeches; I’d been worried I would end up wearing a ridiculously short miniskirt or something equally difficult. The shirt was smocked at the waist and didn’t tuck into the pants, which meant I had a bit of midriff exposed. Also, there were no buttons until about halfway down, which meant it was indeed designed to showcase _the girls_.

It’s a good thing the bra gave me great cleavage.

I managed to get the boots on, which is no easy feat for equestrian boots, and did a quick French braid for my hair. It went with the theme, after all. I used to braid my hair for riding competitions.

When I made my way through the bathroom, I expected to find Bucky waiting for me. Instead, I was met with silence.

“Bucky?” I called out.

“I’m still in here,” he said, his voice muffled through the closet door. “I don’t think this is gonna work, Z.”

I stifled a laugh, wondering what outfit he’d been given.

“Well, come out…let’s take a look.”

Bucky opened the door looking both embarrassed and frustrated, though, honestly he had no reason to be either.

Bless the person who chose his outfit. _Bless them_. I never would have thought it sexy, but seeing Bucky in a Black Watch Polo Team uniform made think all sorts of bad things.

The short sleeve polo shirt was tight and showcased his broad chest and biceps. Shuri’s sleeve camouflaged his vibranium arm. The pants were equally tight, and drew my attention straight to his thighs. And then his crotch.

Bucky was a lefty, if you know what I mean. I could clearly see the outline of, well, _that_. I mean, he wasn’t exactly small, and there wasn’t exactly a lot of room inside those pants to hide anything.

I pressed my lips together to hide my smile.

“That’s it,” Bucky said, turning around, gifting me with a view of his fine, _fine_ ass.

“No, no, no, _no_ ,” I called out, grabbing him by his waistband. “It’s—you look…” I shook my head. “You look _hot_ , Bucky. Really. This is a good look on you.” I said as I gestured up and down his frame. “You should seriously consider joining a polo club.”

He smiled, and darn if it didn’t make him look even more sexy.

“And you should consider taking up riding, sweetheart,” he growled as he pulled me to him. “Then again, if you feel the need to ride _anything_ you just let me know. I’d be happy to accommodate my girl.”

And there it was. _The_ phrase. _The_ two words. My insides melted and I waited for him to kiss me.

He ground against me and I shamelessly pushed right back. His hand found my backside and I raked my nails across his scalp as our lips met in a frenzied kiss. Our tongues pressed and pushed against each other until we were interrupted by a chirp, letting us know our car had arrived.

“Guess we better go,” he whispered as he peppered kisses across my jawline to my ear, then down my neck.

I sighed as he trailed down my flesh. My God, tonight was going to be hard…but the coming weeks would be brutal. How was I supposed to go back to life before this now that I knew how this man felt against me?


	4. Mirrors

We grabbed our coats and made our way downstairs. The car was fancy, the driver was fancy, and when we pulled up to the club, well…it was underwhelming. I was honestly expecting more _fancy_.

The building was nondescript. It was gray, semi modern, yet not a tremendous amount of glass. It was difficult to tell if it was a two story building, or a single story with a very high ceiling. You simply couldn’t see inside.

Once we were escorted into the entranceway, we made our way through security. I worried about Bucky’s arm, and I could see the apprehension in his eyes as we wound our way through the building, but everything went off without a hitch. Even the lecture and warning involving consents and safe words moved without issue, though it was a good thing we had performed our prep work together. After we passed through the second set of doors, the club came to life. This was where the luxury started. Beautiful people were milling around in their equestrian clothing, some looking ridiculous, others looking very much _right_ in their attire. I spotted two more men sporting polo uniforms, though neither looked as good as Bucky. My breeches seemed to be a popular choice amongst the ladies.

I suspected it was because they really did work wonders for the booty.

We made our way deeper into the club, and I felt like I was going to hyperventilate.

“Hey,” Bucky stopped us, feigning that he’d picked a spot to peruse. It was a small nook, big enough for two and no more. The niche was dimly lit and lined with antique looking mirrors, giving it a very trippy vibe. Bucky placed both hands on either side of my face, holding my head in place so he could look into my eyes. “You good?” He asked with his eyes focused on me.

I nodded quickly. Maybe a bit too quickly. I closed my eyes for a moment to collect myself, then gave a much slower nod. “I’m good.”

A small smile spread across Bucky’s face. “Good.”

He slid one hand toward the back of my head, gently cupping me as he urged me closer, while the other hand angled itself around my lower back. “You know, I’ve gotta say I feel like I hit the jackpot with this mission, Z.”

“Well, you did _volunteer_ for it, Bucky,” I chuckled as he kissed my neck. “And quickly, I might add.”

I gasped when he lightly bit the sensitive flesh near my ear before licking the flat of his tongue across it. “Like I was going to let Steve or Sam take it? This mission was mine the minute you got involved…and they both damn well knew it.”

He continued his ministrations, and I knew he was leaving marks. I honestly didn’t care. In the days to come, I would both welcome and loathe the reminder of this evening and everything that lead up to it.

“Besides,” he continued speaking, “I think we make a great team.” He pulled back gifting me with one of his adorable smiles. It was genuine and not the sort of smile Bucky displayed often. It warmed my heart.

“Me too, Bucky.”

Suddenly, the smile was gone. Bucky’s expression shifted from friendly and fun loving to a mask of seduction and liquid heat. “You ready to give these yahoos a show, doll?”

I nodded, not trusting myself to speak.

“Do you want me to lead?” Bucky asked, his voice gravely and sexy.

I nodded again.

“You need me to take charge, don’t you sweetheart?”

My lips parted as my breath hitched, my heart rate doing double time. “Yes, please.” I arched my back, pushing myself against Bucky, needing to feel him against me.

Bucky tilted my head up and placed his lips directly over mine, ghosting his tongue across them before speaking again. “’Yes, please,’ what, sweetheart?”

My eyes nearly fluttered closed. God, I loved this side of Bucky. “Yes, please, _Sergeant Barnes_ ,” I said softly, though no one was within earshot of us.

“Mmm, _fuck_ …do you have any idea what you do to me when you call me that?” He asked as he ground himself against me.

I mean, yeah, I had a pretty good idea given that his erection was barely contained in the polo pants and he was pressed against me bodily.

“Do you wanna know?” He growled as he pulled away a bit.

I smirked up at him. “Yes, _please_ , Sergeant Barnes,” I repeated again, earning a hellishly sexy grin from Bucky.

Bucky took my right hand in his before speaking again. “Remember your colors, kitten?”

I nodded.

“I’m in charge, but _you_ have all the power here. Tell me to stop, and I will.”

I nodded again, though Bucky’s lips crashed against mine in a claiming kiss that curled throughout my body, taking root in my very soul.

“I’ll show you what you do to me, kitten,” he said as he slid my hand against his erection, pressing it there until he was able to feel some much needed friction.

I stood mesmerized, staring at my fingers tracing the outline of Bucky’s hardness. He was so thick; I was simultaneously intrigued and terrified at the prospect of having him inside me, stretching and filling me to the brink of pain.

I palmed him as best as I could, wanting to feel every vein and ridge hidden by the polo uniform. Bucky gifted me with a gentle thrust of his hips into my palm, and I hazarded a glance up and into his eyes.

He was looking at me with such intensity I nearly stepped away from him. His pupils were lust blown, his blue eyes now dark and predatory. Bucky looked equal parts lover _and_ warrior; he wore them both very well.

His lips found mine again, pressing against them in a barely controlled kiss. He first kissed my top lip before doing the same to my bottom lip, though he took the swollen flesh into his mouth and lightly bit it before releasing me. I swiped my tongue across the newly bitten surface, staring at his mouth as I imagined all the things he could do with his tongue and those lips.

“I need to touch you, Z,” he whispered harshly. “What’s your color, kitten?”

I swallowed, looking up and into his eyes before answering. “Green.”

“Good girl, sweetheart. So good,” he murmured softly as he lowered his head to line wet kisses across my exposed collarbone. “Remember what I said? I won’t share you with anyone, Z. _No one will see you, baby_ ,” he spoke as he licked the skin between my breasts. He stood, taking my jaw into his natural flesh hand before speaking again. “I’m right here, blocking the only way in _and_ out of this space. Do you trust me?”

Bucky held my face to his, commanding me to see the sincerity in his eyes. He wanted me to trust him; he _needed_ me to trust him. I nodded before speaking. “I trust you Bucky.”

Bucky’s eyes softened marginally, though they still held an animalistic desire in their depths. He inhaled quickly and I realized only then that he had been holding his breath.

“My girl is so good to me,” he drawled as he lazily swiped his thumb across my kiss-swollen lip.

He dragged his natural hand down, gently massaging my neck before proceeding lower to cup my breast. My nipple hardened even more as he squeezed me over my shirt and bra. Bucky deftly unfastened two of my buttons, fully exposing my chest. He slid his hand under the fabric, pinching my sensitive nipple between his thumb and forefinger.

I gasped at the pleasure pain of it. Somehow, it felt as if the sensation traveled along a nerve connected to my core, and I absently wondered if I could orgasm from nipple play alone. When Bucky nudged his knee between my legs, pushing me roughly against his thigh, I nearly came unhinged and I moaned at the sensations.

Bucky grunted, lost in his own increasing arousal. “This is nothing compared to how I’m going to make you feel later, darlin’,” he drawled again. “When we get home—“

I inhaled sharply. “Red!” I said suddenly, shaking my head.

Bucky stopped his actions immediately, his brows stitched in worry and confusion. “What’s wrong? Talk to me sweetheart.”

I continued shaking my head as I looked at him. “I can’t—“

Bucky’s eyes softened as he rested his forehead against mine. “Shhh, it’s okay,” he whispered. “We can leave right now. It’s okay.”

“No, it’s not that. I just can’t…,” I trailed off, unsure of how to address my concerns with him. “I need to stay in _this_ moment, Bucky. I can’t think about later. _Just. Now._ ”

I didn’t tell him I couldn’t continue a casual, sexual relationship with him. That once this mission was complete, there would be no reason for us to continue with this aspect of our relationship…fun as it was. I’m just not wired for casual sex; I need more from partner.

And I loved Bucky. There. It was true. And it hurt… _a lot_. Unrequited love hurts.

Bucky held me, keeping his forehead pressed to mine for several moments. “You’re okay here?”

I nodded.

“And you’re okay with me touchin’ you sweetheart?”

I nodded again, smiling softly.

I mean I actually _liked_ that part.

I knew Bucky well enough to read the insecurity in his eyes. I hated that my overwhelming need to stop us earlier had fueled that doubt in his head.

“Bucky,” I said, still keeping my forehead pressed to his as I stared at his mouth, “If I could choose anyone as my partner on this mission, I would choose you. You are the only one I would want here with me, _right now_ , in this moment.”

I felt his breath catch at my admission as a small smile hitched one side of his mouth in that adorable, sexy smirk of his. “Not even Stevie?”

I bit my lip to hide my smile, though I knew I was failing miserably. I hummed out loud as though I were pondering his question. I traced a finger down Bucky’s chest as I spoke. “Would he be wearing this exact same outfit, ‘cause I gotta say—”?

Bucky quickly but gently grasped my jaw in his natural hand, effectively shushing me. “Doll. Really? I don’t think you want to make me jealous again. Not here. Not now,” he warned as he slid his thumb across my lower lip.

I caught the pad of his thumb between my teeth, surprising him as I steadily licked it, sucking the tip ever so delicately, before removing my mouth from him so I could speak. “But I kind of like caveman Bucky, all dominant and aggressive,” I said as I scrunched up my face at him.

It wasn’t a sexy face _at all_ , far from it actually; it was just natural between us.

Bucky dropped his chin as he narrowed his eyes to look at me, to _really_ look at _me._ “You sure about that, kitten?” He asked as he wedged his knee between my legs, dragging my core against his thigh.

Damn him, he knew his thighs were my weakness.

Well…one of my weaknesses anyway.

I closed my eyes as I relished the feel of him, the sheer size of him against me. Bucky completely engulfed the doorway to the alcove; I could see nothing beyond Bucky. My world, right now, was Bucky.

Bucky stilled my body, effectively stopping the rapidly building orgasm from unfurling. I whimpered as I tried to move, but he held me steady. “I asked you a question, sweetheart.”

His eyes bore into mine.

“About caveman Bucky,” I breathed, smirking as I prepared to taunt him, “or Steve in this—“

I was cut off again, though I somehow ended up facing the mirrors again with my back to Bucky, my body pressed against his large chest.

“Oh baby girl,” Bucky ground out in my ear, “I was gonna get you off _so good_ on my thigh because I know how much you like that….” Bucky pulled my ass against him, dropping down so he could grind himself against my backside. “But you’ve been bad, and bad girls don’t get to come like that.”

I sucked in a breath as he pulled me against himself again. “I—I can be good,” I promised.

“Too late,” Bucky quipped. “What I should do is make this ass ten shades of red for _purposely_ making me jealous,” he said through gritted teeth, though I could tell he wasn’t angry. On the contrary, Bucky was _very_ turned on right now.

I felt a flood of warmth at Bucky’s warning as wetness coated me. Bucky’s eyes never left mine in the mirror and I knew he sensed my arousal at his statement.

“I think my girl might like that…am I right?”

I nodded before catching the squint of Bucky’s eyes, then realized he wanted me to speak. “Yes, I would... _Sergeant Barnes_. ” I smirked when I heard him chuff out a breath.

“Fucking _perfect_ ,” Bucky growled as he fisted my hair near the base of my skull, pulling the braid tight so I had to bare my throat to him. “But I can’t do that, because that would mean taking these sexy pants down and I’m not sharing your body with anyone.”

Bucky held my gaze in the mirror a touch too long, making me wonder if he was implying more to his statement. He finally leaned down to lick the shell of my ear, biting the sensitive flesh just beneath my ear before releasing my hair.

“How do I punish my princess, hmmm? I want to spank that sexy ass until you can’t sit without remembering my hands on you,” Bucky hummed in my ear as his hands roamed my body. I leaned into him as his hands grazed my sensitive nipples, whimpering at the contact.

Bucky’s smiled at me in the mirror and I recognized the glint in his eye. My breath came in short, shallow puffs as I wondered what punishment he had just decided upon.

He cupped first one breast then the other, massaging each one as we watched each other in the mirrors. He rolled the pebbled nipples between his thumb and forefinger, lightly squeezing them. I had the distinct feeling Bucky could make me orgasm from some wickedly skilled nipple play.

“Remember, no one can see you, sweetheart,” Bucky said, his voice low and rough. “What’s your color, baby?”

“Green,” I said, my voice high and tight as my body vibrated with need.

“Good girl…my good girl,” he praised.

Bucky pulled my shirt open so that my bra was fully exposed, and slowly unhooked the front clasp. He didn’t let go of it right away, giving me time to protest, searching my face for any signs of objection.

He would find none.

I writhed against him, pushing my breasts into his hands like a wanton woman. I needed to feel Bucky’s hands on me, anywhere and everywhere.

Bucky sucked a breath between his teeth as he released my breasts, pushing the bra out of the way. “Look at my girl—“

I nearly purred at his continued use of _that_ phrase.

“So fucking perfect.” Bucky ducked his head to kiss and nip the skin along my neck as he continued to squeeze my breasts, occasionally rolling my pebbled nipples between his thumb and forefinger.

I could hear the murmur of the crowd just outside our nook, though Bucky’s huge frame blocked any visual contact. This was _by far_ the most risqué thing I had ever done, sexually speaking. I was pretty vanilla and the whole idea of being seen or caught was exhilarating.

Not to mention watching Bucky ravish my body through the mirrors in the dimly lit nook was probably the hottest thing I’d ever seen in my whole life.

I clenched my thighs together tightly, desperately seeking a way to dull the ache throbbing between my legs.

“Bucky,” I breathed his name, “please Bucky.”

Bucky closed his eyes as he ground himself against me, impossibly hard. “God, I could listen to you say my name like that all night.”

I whimpered again. “Please Bucky,” I pleaded.

“Please what, baby? Hmmm, we haven’t even gotten to your punishment yet. You remember? For making me jealous,” Bucky rumbled as he gradually increased pressure on my nipples. “You do think you deserve to be punished, don’t you sweetheart?”

I nodded. “Yes,” I breathed my agreement before gasping at the sensations Bucky was creating. “Please. I was so bad…teach me to be good, baby.” I ran my hands along Bucky’s forearms, placing my hands over both of his on my breasts.

Bucky’s expression grew positively carnal. “Fucking, hell, Z,” he snarled, “you are killing me, baby. Feel what you do to me. _Feel,_ ” he whispered as he wrapped his left hand over mine and dragged it to his hardness, the black polo pants doing nothing to hide his erection.

He pressed my hand against his cock, squeezing as he squeezed my hand, and pumping as he pumped my hand against himself. I felt him throb beneath my fingers and I moaned.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Bucky whispered more to himself than me.

He schooled his features quickly, taking both of my hands and placing them on a bronzed bar inside the alcove. “Keep your hands _here_ , kitten, understand?”

I wrapped my fingers around the bar, eager to know what Bucky had planned.

Bucky held my waist in his hands, briefly dropping himself down to again grind against my backside. I smirked; I do believe Bucky liked my derrière.

I swallowed hard, beyond turned on at the sight before me in the mirror, the sensations swirling around me. My smirk evaporated when I met Bucky’s eyes in the mirror.

His hands again found my breast, and I closed my eyes as he lavished attention on the ever-sensitive flesh. He rolled each nipple between the thumb and forefinger of each hand, the left cooler than the right thanks to his covered metal arm. He plucked and tugged the rosy flesh until my core fluttered, leading me to wonder if I might have my first orgasm that wasn’t from my clit or my core.

“You need to understand that I control this body, sweetheart,” Bucky hummed in my ear as he increased the pressure on my nipples. The cusp of pleasure-pain was overwhelming.

I gasped then cried out briefly.

“What’s you color?”

“Green,” I replied quickly. It hurt but it felt so, _so_ , good. I didn’t want him to stop.

Bucky kissed my temple, humming. “Thank you sweetheart,” he commended me.

He resumed his ministrations with my breasts, again working up to the sweet but painful pinch that caused a pulse to ignite in my clit.

“You will _not_ use this mouth to say things that make me jealous, correct?” Bucky growled as he pinched my nipple harshly.

He had been gradually increasing pressure on my over stimulated skin for what felt like an eternity, and though it hurt and my nipples felt raw, I craved each squeeze, each rough pass. I was sopping, thankful for the dark breeches that hid my arousal. Surely I had soaked through the material.

I shook my head. “I won’t do it again, Bucky. I promise I’ll be good,” I panted, screwing my eyes shut at the pleasure pain coursing through my body. My nervous system was one responsive and raw nerve at this point.

I desperately needed to come.

“I believe you,” Bucky purred and I shamelessly arched my back to grind myself against him. “You’ll be my good girl, won’t you?”

I nodded. “So good, I promise.” I licked my dry lips. “Please baby, _please_.”

“Please what, sugar?” Bucky asked as he soothed the abraded flesh around my nipples. “What do you need? Hmmm?”

I nearly cried as I squeezed my thighs together. “Please, make me come Bucky. _Please_.”

“Do you trust me, darlin’?” Bucky hummed, palming my breasts to further soothe the flesh.

“Of course,” I answered immediately.

Bucky’s response was a slow drop of his hands from my breasts to my waist as he unbuttoned my pants. He lowered the zipper, then paused. “I won’t share you, Z. Ever. No one will see you, baby,” he said as he held my gaze in the largest mirror, his eyes seeking permission to continue.

I nodded, rolling my head back momentarily to rest against his shoulder before coming back up again. “Please Bucky, _please_.”

“I do love to hear you beg for me, sweetheart,” Bucky replied, never breaking eye contact with me in the large mirror. “Watch my hand, baby. Watch me make you come.”

My breath hitched when I looked down, watching Bucky’s large hand slide into my pants just over my panties. He rubbed across the material, pressing his fingers deftly against my core before dragging them back up again. When he reached the edge of my panties he paused with his fingertips barely beneath the elastic band.

“What’s your color, kitten?” He breathed against my ear, making me jump.

“It’s fucking green, Bucky… _please_ ,” I added, “please make me come.”

“You _need_ to learn patience, little girl,” Bucky said as he yanked me hard against his body. “You’ll come when I tell you to come.”

I felt sweat trickle down my back. Dominant Bucky did sinful things to my insides. Every cell in my body pulsated with awareness of this man behind me.

“From now on, when you want to come…when you _need_ to come, you tell me, and I’ll make it happen. _I control your pleasure, darlin_ ’. Do you understand?”

I nodded, my eyes glued to Bucky’s fingertips just ghosting the edge of my panties.

“I need words, sweetheart.”

“Yes. I understand,” I hazarded a glance up to the large mirror again, finding Bucky staring back into my eyes. “ _Sergeant Barnes_.”

I smirked as he flexed his jaw, a hint of a smirk barely breaking across his face.

“Now… _what’s your color, kitten?_ ” Bucky asked again, purposely enunciating each word slowly and clearly. His gaze held mine, daring me to get impatient with him again.

“Green,” I breathed out as I ground my backside against him.

He dipped his nose to my neck, inhaling my scent briefly before speaking. “Good. _Good girl_ ,” he whispered as he brushed his tongue across my jaw before gently nipping the skin with his teeth.

“Now, I’m going to touch this sweet pussy, and you aren’t going to come until I tell you too, right?”

I nodded. “Yes, I’ll be good,” I promised as I met his eyes in the mirror.

“Watch me, sweetheart. Watch my hand,” Bucky ordered.

My eyes fell back down to see where his hand sat poised just above my underwear. I held my breath as he moved it ever so slowly lower and lower until he cupped my sex, easily feeling my wetness.

“Oh baby,” he breathed, “you are soaked.” He dipped his fingers between my folds, though he never grazed my clit. “I should take care of my girl, huh? What do you say?”

“Y-yes, please,” I heard myself say, though I couldn’t be sure. All my thought and concentration was focused on _not_ coming despite the fact that Bucky was not touching my clit. My orgasm felt like an oncoming freight train, and truth be told I didn’t even know _how_ to stop it, though I didn’t want to disappoint Bucky.

“I think my kitten likes it when I take control, when I talk dirty to her…don’t you baby?”

I sighed, “God, _yes_.”

Bucky chuckled in my ear and I hazarded another glance at his face in the mirror.

What I found there would be burned into my brain for eternity. I could only see Bucky’s profile; his face was turned toward me. His chuckle faded, though his smile remained and it was so genuine, so utterly perfect and honest that I knew I would return to this memory over and over again.

I mean, for obvious reasons, of course. Bucky’s hand was literally in my pants, so undoubtedly I was gonna think about it…but also because I had the rare opportunity to see Bucky, _the real Bucky_ , maybe for the first time since the war.

“You’re missing the show, darlin’,” Bucky purred in my ear as his eyes darted to the mirror.

“I don’t know about that,” I said, my own voice husky, “it looks pretty good up here too.”

He turned my face with his left hand, forcing me to lean back a bit, holding me there as he leaned down and forward, capturing my lips in a soul-searing kiss. When we broke apart, he pressed his forehead to mine before softly uttering one command.

“ _Watch_.”

With a shaky breath, I cast my eyes down again, unbelievably turned on by the sight of his hand still buried in my wetness.

Bucky still skillfully avoided my clit, and I nearly whimpered as his fingers glided across my sex hitting every spot _except_ that particular bundle of nerves. I sucked in a sharp breath when I felt his thick middle finger slide into my core. When he pulled it back out, then he added his ring finger, making me whimper at the sensation.

“ _Fuck_ , doll,” Bucky ground out between clenched teeth. “Your pussy is so tight.”

He clasped my left hand in his, dragging it behind me so that I could cup him through his pants.

“Tell me, sweetheart, would my dick even fit inside you?”

My knees nearly buckled at his words and I couldn’t stop the moan that escaped my mouth. My God, this man was trying to kill me.

“I’d have to go slow, baby. _Ease_ into you inch by inch, wouldn’t I.”

I clutched his hardness in my hand as he continued painting his mental imagery.

“Then I wouldn’t be able to move, would I? This pussy would squeeze me like a vice.”

“You’d feel me for _days_ by the time I finished with you, sweetheart,” he growled in my ear.

I whimpered as I moved my hips, a vain attempt to feel Bucky’s fingers on my clit. I was so close, _so close_ ; I could physically feel the tight coiling in my abdomen.

“You want to come, baby?” Bucky asked, his voice sweet despite the torture he was inflicting.

“Please Bucky, please make me come.”

“I think my girl is going to come as soon as I touch that little clit, aren’t you baby?”

“If you let me, Sergeant Barnes.” Though I doubted I could hold it back. Bucky was right, the minute he touched me that tightly coiled spring was bound to come undone.

“ _Come all over my fingers, kitten,_ ” Bucky commanded as his thumb circled my over stimulated bundle of nerves. The second his thumb pressed into my flesh, I came, my orgasm ripping through me with an intensity I’d never experienced before. I clutched Bucky’s left arm for support while my other hand held onto his hand still buried in my pants, his thumb moving in circles as he drew out my orgasm.

Once the tremors subsided, Bucky slowly withdrew his hand from my pants. I was embarrassed by the wetness clearly evident on his digits, even in the dimly lit alcove. I was in no position to help him clean up; my brain’s post orgasmic fuzziness prevented me from moving as I leaned against Bucky for support.

I watched as he brought his hand to his lips, licking his fingers, and my breath caught in my throat. I’d never seen anyone do such a thing. I wanted to be grossed out, but instead found myself getting even more turned on.

“You taste even better than I imagined, sweetheart,” he said as he leaned down to adjust my underwear and close my pants before clasping my bra for me and buttoning my blouse.

I closed my eyes, fully leaning back against him as I turned my head so that I could bury my face in his collar. I wanted to _consume_ Bucky. The release of my orgasm did little to reduce my desire, if anything I was now ravenous for the man behind me.

I turned around to face him once he was finished, placing my hands on his chest before sliding them up to clasp them behind his neck.

“And when do _I_ get a taste of you _Sergeant Barnes_?”

Bucky’s cheek twitched as his trademark smirk reappeared. “Anytime you want, doll.”

“Right now?”

Bucky pulled me toward him, holding me against himself with left arm while his right hand roughly grasped my backside. He pulled me in and kissed me roughly, his beard abrading the skin around my mouth. Before he ended the kiss, he pulled my lower lip between his teeth, biting gently as he backed away.

“Better?” He asked.

I raised an eyebrow, giving him my best impression of a _Nat expression_. “Thank you, but…that isn’t exactly what I had in mind, Bucky.”

He barely narrowed his eyes as he regarded me. “And what did you have in mind, kitten?”

I stood on my tiptoes so I could kiss the exposed skin just above his collar, then I worked my way down onto his chest, scratching my nails over his covered nipples until I was flat footed again.

“I want to _taste_ you,” I repeated, though this time I ran my left hand along the outline of his throbbing erection.

Bucky’s lips parted as he breathed through his mouth, his breath catching as I squeezed over a particularly sensitive area. “Here? I won’t be able to hide you…they’ll know—“

I placed my fingers over his lips before cutting him off. “They’ll see me on my knees. That’s all.”

Even in the dim alcove I could see his lust blown pupils darken even more.

“They’ll never see my face, baby,” I said as I continued to stroke him through his pants. “They’ll never see what I’m doing to you with my mouth.”

Bucky snapped his jaw shut with an audible pop, clenching it so tightly I worried for his poor teeth.

I stood on my tiptoes again, initiating a kiss with Bucky of my own accord this time. We held each other for several seconds before he released me. I took a small step to put some space between us, just enough for me to release the hook on Bucky’s pants. I looked into his eyes before continuing.

“You don’t have to—“

I clicked my tongue, shushing him. “What’s your color, Sergeant?” I purred.

A slow, seductive grin spread across his face, erasing any doubt or uncertainty. “ _Green_.”

With that, I licked my lips as I dropped to my knees, carefully lowering Bucky’s zipper. His cock sprang free almost immediately. Apparently, Bucky decided to go commando tonight.

I hesitated briefly, somewhat surprised by his lack of underwear but mostly stunned by the sheer size of him. He was longer than what I would consider average, which wouldn’t necessarily be problematic on its own. Bucky’s thickness, however, was another thing altogether. He wasn’t kidding about going slow and needing to go inch by inch. Bucky was _thick_. So thick, in fact, that I couldn’t get my fingers on one hand around him.

I pumped him several times as I studied his cock, committing everything to memory. I hazarded a glance up at Bucky. He was staring down at me as though he was doing the same thing.

“Doll,” he said as he touched my cheek, “you don’t need to—“

I kept my eyes on his as I licked his cock from base to tip. Bucky’s eyes rolled back as he sucked in a sharp breath, his left hand going to the doorway frame while his right hand gently rested against my head.

“ _Fuck_ , Z,” Bucky hissed.

I repeated the motion several times, lubricating him so I could take him inside my mouth. I swirled my tongue around his head, flattening it along the underside before sucking it between my lips. Bucky’s pre-come was salty and not unpleasant. Not to mention he was making the sexiest grunting sounds I’d ever heard.

I continued focusing my efforts on Bucky’s crown, slowly taking in more and more of him. I’d be the first to admit my oral skills were lacking, but I imagined even a seasoned pro would struggle with Bucky’s girth. I kept a steady rhythm, using my hands to pump what I couldn’t fit into my mouth, licking and sucking just the head when my jaws struggled.

Bucky kept his thrusts in check; never pushing himself into me other than the involuntary drive from time to time.

“Baby,” he said, his voice strained in the most erotic way, “your mouth feels so fuckin’ good…I’m not gonna last long, sweetheart.”

Bucky threw his head back as he lightly thrust into my mouth.

“You need to stop or I’m gonna come in that hot mouth of yours.”

I hummed, earning a groan from Bucky as the vibrations undoubtedly traveled along his cock.

He looked down at me only to find me looking up at him. “Where do you want me to come baby?” He asked, his eyes wild and glassy.

I released him with an audible “pop,” then held his pulsing thickness in both hands as I answered him. “I’ll show you.”

I opened my mouth and held his cockhead on my tongue before sucking him between my lips again and pumping his length.

Bucky thrust forward once, his expression one of barely controlled chaos. “My girl is so fucking good to me…gonna let me come in that hot little mouth.”

My nipples hardened, still painfully abraded at Bucky’s earlier _punishment_. I had a maddening urge to get myself off with Bucky, his words, soft curses, and actions were overwhelming.

Bucky’s hips stuttered as his shallow thrusts continued. His breathing was erratic and I felt his thigh muscles tighten every time my arm would brush against him. I knew he was getting close.

“Fuck!” Bucky said tersely, “I can’t…I’m gonna come, sweetheart—“

I felt him coming into my mouth and again, it wasn’t entirely unpleasant. I swallowed as best as I could.

When Bucky was finished, he sighed looking down at me with such love and adoration on his face. He looked relaxed and blissed out. I could get used to post blowjob Bucky’s happiness.

I licked him from base to tip, earning an involuntary shudder from the super soldier. I smirked in response as we maintained eye contact.

Bucky quickly gripped my upper arm, lifting me off my knees with ease.

“Don’t tease me, little girl,” Bucky warned as he backed me farther inside the nook. “Not right now.” He dipped his head as he fisted his hand into the braid at the back on my neck, craning me so that he could drag his nose from my collarbone up to the sensitive skin behind my ear before releasing his warm breath. “My scent is _all over you_ , baby, and it’s driving me mad.”

I whimpered at this power play. I _definitely_ had a kink for dominant, aggressive Bucky.

“My God, you are _fucking perfect_ ,” he praised before crashing his lips onto mine. The kiss was forceful and insistent with no hint of tenderness. Bucky’s tongue invaded my mouth, pushing against my own before pulling away with an onslaught of nips and licks.

We both stared at each other, warring with our bodies and minds. I wanted nothing more than to give into this moment, to enjoy Bucky as _more_ than my teammate, and judging by the looks he was sending me he felt much the same way; we had a mission to complete, however, and we both knew the people of Wakanda and T’Challa more than deserved our help.

“We better get out of this hideaway before—“

Bucky continued staring at me, nodding once when I didn’t finish. “You’re right,” he said as he tucked in his shirt and zipped his pants before helping me make myself presentable as well. We were doing a bang-up job presenting ourselves as a hot couple that might be up for a little public sex. So far we’d spent most of our time in the club hidden in a mirrored nook.


	5. The Big Screen

We shared a few soft glances and even a chuckle as we prepared to exit the tiny space. Bucky took my hand, leading me out and back into the club space. We were stopped as we made our way through the throng of open loungers currently occupied by club participants in the throes of various, um, _things_.

“Excuse me sir,” the smartly dressed man addressed Bucky, never even acknowledging me.

Bucky never released my hand, though he did pull me closer and slightly behind his body. I knew he was attempting to shield me in case things went south, but I didn’t get that vibe from the man who stopped us so I lightly squeezed Bucky’s hand as I shifted my stance to be near him.

Bucky stopped, and even from my viewpoint slightly off to his side I could see he was giving the new guy the infamous Bucky-Murder-Death Glare.

It was practically a trademarked term within the compound.

“You and your wife have been invited to attend the exclusive activities hosted in a more private location should you choose to attend.” Smart Suit Guy produced a box with two bracelets like those things they provide in amusement parks. These were sleek and black with a metal strand intricately woven around part of the material. “This invitation extends to the remainder of this evening and, of course, tomorrow as well should you return.”

Bucky relaxed, well, as much as Bucky _can_ relax in public, as he nodded and took the bracelets from the man. “Thank you,” Bucky replied, never taking his eyes from Smart Suit Guy. “Where?” Bucky asked him, keeping his question simple and his tone even.

Smart Suit Guy gave Bucky a slight nod as the hint of a smirk appeared across his lips. Undoubtedly the man assumed Bucky was eager to get down to business.

And by business, I mean _sexy times_.

“Follow me, sir.” With that, the man turned and led us past the open loungers, around a dance floor, through a space littered with booths and tables, and down a corridor lined with rooms where numerous activities occurred.

I glanced inside one. It was definitely one of our _no_ boxes from the survey.

Bruce was right about one thing. Most people were there simply to watch. Others were clearly there to perform, while some were obviously swept up in the moment and found themselves riding an erotic wave with the surroundings.

I could certainly relate to the last one. This place had a _what happens at Serenity stays at Serenity_ type of vibe.

We finally arrived at our destination as the hall opened to a space that looked very much like an old-fashioned movie theatre, complete with neon lights, ticket booth box office, and a marquee. It was huge and looked like it belonged outside despite the fact that we were still very much indoors.

“We scan your bracelets at the ticket booth, then you may enter.”

Neither Bucky nor I spoke.

“Will there be any additional questions?” Smart Suit Guy asked.

“No,” Bucky answered, again keeping his words simple and his tone even. “Thank you.”

He did manage to soften the Bucky-Murder-Death-Glare.

Smart Suit Guy nodded once, then turned to leave us.

“How big is this place?” Bucky asked as he subtly looked around.

There were guests milling about, though noticeably fewer back here. Some gathered in small groups of four to six around tables near an old fashioned looking bar, while others walked in front of the theatre façade, pointing to old movie posters.

I tried my own hand at a Bucky-Murder-Death-Glare when a tall blonde with more plastic parts than Barbie walked by, giving Bucky an overt up-down. When he made no effort to return her gaze, her eyes slid to me, then our still joined hands before she settled her cool gaze back on me again.

I don’t think she was intimidated by my glare. I’d need to work on it.

Bucky glanced back to me and I dropped my glare immediately. “It’s like the TARDIS,” I said, pretending that I was looking around the entire time and _not_ eye-murdering the hot blonde.

“The _what_?” Bucky half laughed his question.

“You know…Doctor Who and that blue box. The TARDIS.”

He looked at me, his expression one of curiosity and amusement.

“Time. And. Relative. Dimension. In. Space,” I offered, writing the first letter of each word in the air. “TARDIS.”

I blinked, my eyes widening. “Oh my God, you’ve never seen Doctor Who.” I shook my head. “You of all people need to watch it.”

Bucky nodded as he pulled me closer to his body. “I’ll put it on my list, doll.” He kissed my forehead and I smiled as I beamed up at him. “You ready for this?”

I exhaled. “As I’ll ever be,” I said softly. “Why did we get an invite so fast?” I asked, curious.

“I have no idea,” Bucky said as we made our way to the faux ticket booth, “but let’s take advantage of it. With any luck we can get this place mapped out and the team can hit tonight.” Bucky spoke softly so that I had to strain to hear him. “Stay focused, Z. Remember everything.”

Bucky’s tone flipped a switch in me; now I was in work mode. It was time to put everything that had just happened in a little box, squish it down, and I could re-examine it later. As soon as our bracelets were scanned, a doorman appeared to allow us entry.

“Mr. and Mrs. Bonham, welcome,” he said jovially as he swept us inside the theatre. “Each cinema explores a different theme, and there are numerous public and private areas throughout. Some rooms are better suited for exhibitionists, while others are more voyeuristic. Some give the feeling of privacy but the mirrors or curtains do offer some visibility for others to enjoy the show.”

My face flamed at his statement. Had Bucky and I been in one of those rooms? Were the mirrors silvered on one side and transparent on the other? My heartbeat felt like it tripled.

Bucky lightly squeezed my hand. Obviously he was wondering the same thing right now.

“Feel free to peruse at your leisure,” the doorman said, completely unaware of the internal battle raging inside me.

Bucky and I both expressed our thanks as we made our way from the entrance to the bar area. Bucky ordered two drinks, turning to me as he pulled me close to him. To others, it looked as if we were two lovers who simply couldn’t keep our hands off each other. In reality, we were using the closeness to have quiet conversations.

“The mirrors—“ I started to speak.

Bucky swallowed as his eyes scanned my face. He looked nervous. “I know doll, I’m sorry…it never occurred to me.”

I shook my head before closing my eyes and dropping my chin. When I looked back up at him, his eyes still held wariness. I shrugged my shoulder, smiling softly. “We don’t know anything _for sure_ …but it would explain why we were fast tracked here,” I snickered the last part. I was feeling a bit hysterical with the realization that people likely watched us as Bucky _punished_ me, and then later as I gave him a freaking blowjob.

I laughed again, stifling the nervous giggle with the back of my hand.

Bucky shared my laugh with a slight chuckle of his own. “You okay, doll?”

I nodded. And I was okay. And oddly I realized I didn’t regret any of it, whether it was a private show or an unintentional public viewing.

We took our drinks and made our way through the theatre, stopping to view the rooms, taking in features and hidden doorways. We spent a fair amount of time enjoying each other as well, and I reminded myself it was a mission, we needed to blend in, and making out like horny teenagers was the only way to blend in around here.

But every time Bucky’s thumb would graze just under my shirt or his fingertips would find their way beneath my waistband I would feel my nipples pebble and my heart rate increase.

“Are you thinkin’ what I’m thinkin’, doll?”

Probably not, given that my current train of thought had me focused on my nipples and the heat blossoming in my underwear.

I glanced around the cinema we were presently examining, spotting the almost perfectly hidden doorway in the dim light. There were six couples nearby, and while they each seemed _involved_ with each other, there was a strange detachment too.

They were security. That door would very likely lead to Garner’s lab.

Jackpot.

“I think you’re right,” I said as I wrapped my arms around his neck, allowing him to spin me so we could get a better view of the room.

“There’s more security in here than any other cinema,” I said as I looked up with half lidded eyes.

It was hard to focus with Bucky trailing kisses down my neck, but we couldn’t just stand in the open gaping like loons and counting threats, so we did what other people were doing…we made out to cover our observations.

“I count six up top,” I said between kisses. I moved my lips from his mouth to his throat, allowing him an opportunity to tilt his head up and assess the balcony area.

Bucky hissed when I scraped my teeth at the juncture of his neck and shoulder, lightly bucking his hips at the sensation. I smiled against his flesh.

“Do you have any idea how hard it is for me to stay focused on this mission, sweetheart?” He rasped.

My smile widened as I drew back from his chest so I could look him in the eye. We had our intel, we knew what room we needed and roughly where to access the labs. We could have one last _fling_ before leaving Serenity. What’s the harm?

“I have some idea how hard it is,” I said coyly, feeling oddly bold as I drug my palm down and over his erection.

Bucky’s gaze darkened and I barely had a chance to register my change in position as he spun me so that my back was against a wide wooden column in the middle of the cinema. I was facing the large screen that played various hard-core and soft-core porn scenes.

“Bucky,” I gasped his name as he kicked my feet apart, wedging his thigh between my legs.

My nipples tightened even more at his growled response; they felt like they were on fire given the attention Bucky had lavished on them earlier.

“ _Fucking hell_ , Z,” Bucky breathed against my neck as he yanked me across his thigh. “You get me so worked up I could come in my pants like a damn teenager.” He chuffed out a mirthless laugh before pulling back to rest his forehead against mine.

“What I wouldn’t give to bend you over that bar and sink into you just like those two,” Bucky said, gesturing with his chin to the couple currently going at it like rabbits on one side of the bar.

Others stood nearby, watching the couple, some masturbating each other, some just touching themselves.

It was surreal and too much all at once. I screwed my eyes shut in an attempt to squelch the heat inside me. When I opened them again, I found Bucky staring at me, staring into my soul.

He yanked me again, dragging my core roughly against his flexed thigh, eliciting a moan from me. I fisted my hands on his shoulders, desperately seeking leverage.

“I’m gonna make you come, kitten. Would you like that? Out here, in the middle of this room…I’m gonna make you come while you ride my thigh, baby. _Just how you like it_.”

I whimpered, my breath catching in my throat as he bounced his leg. I closed my eyes and let my head fall back against the wooden column, relishing the feeling of being surrounded by Bucky as my ears took in the animalistic sounds of the people around us.

“What’s your color, baby?” Bucky whispered in my ear.

I opened my eyes as he pulled back, seeing his silent question reflected in the sea of blue.

_Is this okay?_ He seemed to ask.

“Green,” I smiled as I slid one hand into his hair, dragging my nails along his scalp as I arched my back toward him, desperately seeking even more contact with him.

“Good girl,” he commended before returning his lips to mine as he pressed me against his thigh. “So good,” he whispered in my ear.

“You fucking smell like _me_ ,” he said, emphasizing the last word with a sharp roll of his hips as he moved me down his thigh.

I knew what he was really saying. I smelled like sex, like the very essence of him… _and I liked it_. I moaned as I rolled my head back, leaving Bucky to continue licking, sucking, and occasionally nipping at my neck. I knew he was marking me, and normally that kind of thing would bother me, but this time I wanted as many physical reminders of this evening as I could collect. This time I _encouraged_ it.

My eyes fluttered to the screen behind Bucky, the white cloth filled with imagery. I realized the scenes were from inside the club, and absently thought they should include those in the advertising paraphernalia because, whoa, they were steamy.

My breath hitched as Bucky grabbed my ass, roughly pulling me across his thick thigh. “Come for me sweetheart; the sounds you’re makin’ are drivin’ me crazy.” Bucky’s voice was low and rough. He sounded like pure sex. I could hear the strain in his expression; he was barely holding himself together.

That realization alone pushed me over the edge. I had my very first, fully clothed public orgasm.

And it was pretty damn intense.

I cried out, unable to control my response, and Bucky slanted his lips over mine, engulfing me as he encouraged me to ride out my ecstasy. I shuddered in his embrace as my breathing returned to normal and he kissed the flesh across my jaw and down my neck.

I opened my eyes as he undoubtedly made yet another mark, and my breath froze in my lungs, my eyes widening as I stared straight ahead.

“Bucky.” I said his name quietly; we had attracted a small crowd some distance away though they were already dispersing.

I wanted to be embarrassed about that, but I had bigger fish to fry.

Bucky immediately raised his head to look me in the eye. He sensed my change in demeanor and heard my tone shift.

I met his eyes then flicked my chin up, silently telling him to look over his shoulder. He gingerly slid me down his leg, patting my behind in what was likely supposed to be a supportive gesture before turning to look behind him.

I pushed the air from my lungs as more images filled the screen, then short videos played. My breath came faster then. Too fast. I was going to hyperventilate.

There, on the screen, that huge-ass screen in the middle of a huge-ass room filled with a huge-ass number of people, were Bucky and I. I was on my knees giving him what looked like a fantastic blowjob judging by the expression on his face. If it had been anyone else, I would have said that was the hottest thing I’d ever seen…but it wasn’t anyone else. It was _me_ and it was _Bucky_. And it was supposed to be private.

Bucky turned to me then, his eyes a bit wild. He took in my countenance then schooled his features.

“Damn it,” Bucky whispered loudly. “I’m sorry,” Bucky said, taking my head in his hands so that he could hold my face mere inches from his own. “Baby, I’m sorry…we scanned for cameras before. We didn’t find anything. I didn’t know—“

I shook my head. “It’s okay, I mean…it’s not you. It’s just—“ I sighed. “It’s just _really weird_ to see— _that_ ,” I gestured to the screen, though our _scene_ had played through and someone else was now on screen.

“We have everything we need, sweetheart,” Bucky soothed as he pulled me to him. “Let’s go. Let’s just go.”

I nodded into his shoulder and he slid his hand into mine.

“Try to remember everything you can about this place, baby. Okay?” He drawled as we slowly and methodically made our way back to the marquee.

“Okay,” I said softly, barely resisting the urge to laugh. Like I could possibly forget _anything_ about tonight. “We’re underground back here, aren’t we?” I asked as he went through the faux theatre lobby.

Bucky nodded at my observation. “Good catch. That’s why it seems so much bigger.”

“So it’s not a TARDIS,” I said, feigning my dejection.

“’Fraid not, doll.”

We casually made our way through the main club and called for our car. It took a maximum effort to remain calm as we exited, though we did play it off as needing some _alone_ time.

“We hope you enjoyed your anniversary, Mr. and Mrs. Bonham,” the lady at the reception desk chirped.

She was sultry and oozed sexuality in a way I never could. She probably wouldn’t bat an eye about being on screen with some guy literally balls deep in her business. She gave Bucky the up-down too, but I didn’t even try my own Murder-Death-Glare. I was resigned to my fate. I would never be sultry enough to feel okay with having the world see me going down on someone, and I would never be able to pull off a good Murder-Death-Glare.

Some people have it, and some people don’t.

“Thanks,” Bucky said in response with one curt nod.

She gave me a quick glance when she’d finally finished eye-fucking Bucky.

What I did next was petty, but I couldn’t help it.

“Wait,” I said, stopping Bucky in his tracks before we exited the room that would lead us to the front doors and out of the club.

“What’s wrong sugar?” Bucky asked, turning to face me fully as he cupped my cheek.

God he was sweet.

I smiled nervously as I looked up at him, not even caring that the receptionist lady was watching us with rapt attention right now.

Well, I mean I cared a little bit…I actually _did_ want to rub her nose in the fact that Bucky was _mine._

For tonight anyway.

Once we walked through those front doors, the spell would be broken. This part of the mission would be over, Bucky and I would go through debriefing, tactical would begin as soon we were finished…then it would be business as usual.

And I knew I would need some time to decompress from this. From Bucky. From my own broken heart.

“One more kiss before we go?” I asked, my voice small.

Bucky’s expression softened and his smile crinkled his eyes. “Of course,” he said softly as he pulled me to him. “Anything for my girl.”

My heart nearly exploded at the sentiment. I held my breath as I waited for his lips to meet mine. He was gentle at first, chastely placing his lips to mine, then lightly pressing his lips against first my top, then bottom lip in pillow soft touches. He swiped his tongue across my lower lip and I opened for him, enjoying the easiness of this affection. _This_ was a kiss I would come back to in my memories.

When he pulled away I was breathless and filled with emotion.

It was getting harder and harder to squash my feelings into a ball. In fact, I wasn’t having much success with it at all.

Couple that with the tender looks he sent my way and I was downright struggling.

“Ready?” he asked as he cupped the back of my head, placing his forehead against mine.

I waited a heartbeat or three before answering. Was I ready? _No_. When we walked through those doors, this was over, and I most definitely wasn’t ready for that.

But I never would be.

I nodded despite my internal war, and spared a glance at the receptionist as Bucky turned to lead us out of the building.

That confident, sultry look was gone at least. She looked a little forlorn herself.

_You and me both, sister_ , I thought to myself. _You and me both._

Debriefing was remarkably fast, occurring as soon as we arrived back at our suite. Steve and the team were eager to get this win for T’Challa, and I was happy to have helped. I know Bucky felt indebted to Wakanda and would always do his best to help the land and people he had grown to love. He volunteered to go in with the tactical team and Steve approved it. I, however, opted to stay behind given that tactical was definitely not my milieu.

Nat met me in my closet as I prepared to change clothes, giving me that damn trademarked single brow arch she does oh so well.

“What?” I hissed as I gracelessly kicked off my equestrian boots.

She continued getting herself ready as we prepared for what would undoubtedly be an awkward conversation. “I see Bucky left his mark. Or _marks_ ,” she smirked.

I shot up, hazarding a glance in the mirror. Good lord, and I’d just sat through a debriefing with Steve and the team while looking like a leopard. My face flamed as my blush crawled to my cheeks and even covered my chest.

“Oh my God… _Bucky_ ,” I whisper hissed his name.

Not that I was mad. It was just that seeing his mark on me did funny things to my insides. I was already half dreading seeing them fade while simultaneously needing the reminder to weaken.

The next few weeks were going to be a bitch.

“So,” Nat peered at my reflection. “Did you—“

“I did _not_ fuck him, Nat,” I whispered. Bucky was in the closet across the bathroom, after all.

I left out the part where I gave him a blowjob. And the part where he finger fucked me until I came. Oh, and the part where I rode his thigh until I had yet _another_ orgasm.

“Boo,” Natasha said nonchalantly. “Bruce wins.”

Judging by her smile I had a feeling she and Bruce were both winning either way with this particular bet.

I shimmied out of my beloved equestrian pants and made quick work of tucking my ruined undies in the pocket before Nat could give me the third degree. I slipped on some fresh garments before sliding into my absolute favorite jeans and toasty warm sweater.

I kept my bra on, though…God knows what my nipples looked like after Bucky’s _punishment_.

And heaven help me, just _thinking_ about that punishment filled my core with lava.

Nat and I stood in front of the mirror, each of us making sure we were presentable. We stood in stark contrast to one another. Nat looked deadly in her black tactical suit, while I looked like I might spend an evening reading _Pride and Prejudice_ while sipping hot cocoa in my faded jeans and off white sweater. Her red hair was pulled back while my dark hair was down and wavy thanks to the French braid it had been in all night.

“You look cute,” she said as she smacked my ass and opened the door.

“Well…you look deadly,” I said as I smacked her ass right back, making my way to the sink so I could wash my face.

I looked toward the other closet, noting the open door. Bucky was apparently finished getting ready and was likely in the living room prepping with the team. Natasha cornered me at the vanity as I rinsed and dried my face.

“You need to talk to him about your feelings, Z,” Nat said softly as she leaned against the marble. She looked better, her wound healing remarkably well if she was feeling ready for a mission. She wouldn’t be in on the physical side of things this go round, but still.

“What do you mean?” I replied dumbly.

She sighed, tilting her head to the side as she gave me her best _don’t play this game_ gesture.

I sighed and dropped my shoulders in defeat. “I know. I will.”

_Later. Not tonight. Not any time soon,_ I thought to myself.

We nodded to each other as we made our way into the living room, which had quickly become an operational headquarters and ready room over the last two hours.

My eyes found Bucky almost immediately, and he came to stand close to me as Steve spoke about the mission. The goal was to apprehend Garner and as many of his people as possible, while also securing as much of the product and equipment as we could.

“Hey,” Bucky said softly, grasping my elbow with his hand, “I need to talk to you when we get this finished, okay?” He looked serious and intense. It could be because of what he wanted to say to me, but it could also be mission related. Maybe both.

I nodded. “Sure,” I replied casually.

The team was already making their way through the room, gathering their supplies. Bucky slid his hand down my arm as I turned my hand up. Our palms touched as our fingertips slid over each other’s hands before pulling away.

“I’ll see you soon,” Bucky said, smiling, as he made his way back to the team.

I nodded my agreement, not trusting myself to speak, then made my way to Steve as soon as Bucky’s back was turned.

I felt terrible about what I was getting ready to do, but I had to do it. I cornered Steve, herding him into the closet so I could explain to him why I needed some personal time, and why I needed him to keep my current breakdown to himself. I was a blubbery mess and I’d undoubtedly shocked him with my emotional outburst but I couldn’t keep it in anymore.

All those feelings I’d squashed down came bubbling up to the surface and I was about ten seconds away from blowing snot bubbles.

“Hey, whoa, sweetheart,” Steve soothed as he hugged me tight. “Take whatever time you need. It’s okay. _It’s okay_ ,” he repeated as he held my head to his chest.

I pulled away, wiping my eyes and nose with my sleeve in a most unladylike manner before gasping at his uniform. Great, I’d tear stained Captain America’s uniform.

I wiped at it with my other sleeve. The one that _didn’t_ have snot on it.

Steve took both my hands in his, halting my motion altogether and forcing me to look him in the eyes. “You need to talk to him at some point, Z. You _both_ have things to hash out.”

I nodded. “I just need time, Cap.”

“Take all the time you need, kid,” he said as he squeezed my hands. “You know protocol. Reach out when you settle, let me know what’s going on—“

“Promise me you won’t tell anyone where I am or why I’m—“ I stopped speaking as I felt a fresh wave of tears brewing.

“I promise. _You have my word_. But Z,” Steve said sternly, “I don’t like this. You guys should talk about this sooner rather than later.”

I nodded. “I know,” I said dejectedly. “I just need time Steve.”

He nodded before squeezing my shoulder, kissing the top of my head, then turned to leave. “Remember, reach out as soon as you can.”

“I will.”

And with that, he was gone.

I stood in the closet with my arms wrapped around myself until I heard nothing, then I slid down the wall and cried.

After some time I managed to get myself together, packed my ready bag, and I left.


	6. Terminal

Two weeks later I sat in a bar in New York toying with a burner phone. I’d already contacted Steve via his encrypted line the moment I landed, he knew where I was and that I was safe. He’d filled me in on the mission, pleased that it was a success and beyond thrilled that T’Challa was happy. Apparently they wanted Bucky and I to attend some sort of ceremony in Wakanda, but that would definitely have to wait.

I was still licking my wounds, after all.

Steve started to elaborate on the rest of the team and I stopped him. “Not yet, Steve,” I’d told him. It was still too soon.

He graciously let it go though I could tell he didn’t want to.

I wanted to reach out to Nat, hence the burner phone. I’d entered and erased her number more times than I’d like to admit before sliding it on the bar to signal for another drink.

That’s right, I was day drinking.

Sort of. I was drinking light beer and I’d only had the one so far, but I’d eaten at least a metric ton of rice at the Mexican restaurant down the block so I had absolutely zero chance of getting any buzz.

“Honey,” the grizzled bartender said as he slid my second light beer in front of me, “just call him. It’ll either work out or it won’t, but you’re tearing yourself up inside and you’ll wear out your phone.” He winked as he walked away.

I smiled as I tipped back my bottle, though my smile definitely didn’t reach my eyes.

I took my phone in hand as I entered Nat’s number again, finally hitting send. It went straight to voicemail, as expected given that she wouldn’t recognize my number, so I left a message for her and waited for her return call.

Said call came in less than a minute later.

“It’s about damn time,” she growled on the line.

“I missed you too, sweetie,” I cooed.

“Bucky is about to lose his shit, Z.”

Well, _that_ was quite the opener.

“What do you mean?” I asked, sitting up straighter.

“I mean he and Steve have been fighting; he is _demanding_ to know where you are. He _left_ Z. _He’s looking for you_.”

Good lord that sounded so ominous. I wasn’t afraid of Bucky, but I certainly didn’t want him mad at me either. He’s not exactly the type of person you want to piss off. He had no reason to be upset with me; I was the one who needed time to get my act together so we could all be a team again.

“Relax, he won’t find me, Nat,” I replied calmly despite my jitters.

She let out a mirthless chuckled. “Have you _met_ Bucky? _He will find you_ , Z.”

I held my breath as I absently picked at the label on my bottle.

“Where are you?”

I sighed. “I’m…I’m somewhere he’d never look, Nat. I’m—“ I looked up. “I’m in the _last place on earth_ he would look.”

She chuffed out a breath as she picked up on my code.

“I’ll be there in an hour,” she said before disconnecting the call.

“See you later, Chuck,” I said as I tossed some money on the bar.  
“Good luck, honey,” he replied as he wiped down the well-worn wood I’d come to appreciate at the _Terminal_ Bar.

I made my way up the stairs just outside the entrance. When I’d first graduated SHIELD academy, I’d rented one of the two apartments above the bar. It was tiny but clean, and I had an actual one-bedroom unit, complete with a small kitchen, a living room, and a bedroom with an actual door…which is saying _a lot_ in New York. My bathroom was miniscule and had only a small shower stall, but it was enough for me and my barely over five-foot frame. Most importantly, the apartment was rent controlled, so I’d kept up the lease.

Natasha knew about my apartment because she’d vetted me for Fury. Then again, Natasha had a way of knowing everything anyway, so she likely would have found it on her own whether Fury had given her the details or not. She was just wired that way.

I opened my fridge to find a bottle of wine and not much else. If Nat wanted food, we’d need to go out.

True to her word, she was on my doorstep in an hour. We hugged, I cried, I told her what I’d told Steve before I left Ireland, and then I cried some more.

Glad to see all those squashed feelings were still resurfacing.

“Look, I don’t know what to tell you but—“ she looked around the room, a nervous habit she rarely entertained, “you’ve gotta talk to Bucky. And you should probably do it at the compound. He’s—“

My brow furrowed.

“I’ve seen Bucky pretty bad before, Z. This is bad. Like, _Winter Soldier bad_.”

I opened and closed my mouth several times as I considered what to say. “I don’t understand. Why is he so…upset?”

Natasha’s eyes rounded. “Obviously you two have a lot to talk about. _Come home_. I don’t like you being out here by yourself.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m fine. No one knows about this place but you and Fury. Not even Steve knows.”

She gave me her own Murder-Death-Glare. It was almost as good as Bucky’s. _Almost_.

“I just need a little more time, Nat,” I hedged.

The last thing I wanted was to try to talk to Bucky about my feelings for him while I was still a sniveling mess.

Her expression never faltered.

I heaved a breath through my nose. “Monday. Okay? I’ll report back on Monday.”

That gave me one last weekend to get my shit together.

Nat seemed somewhat appeased by my acquiescence. “I still don’t like you being out here alone.”

She took in the windows in the living room, then peeked around to the lone window in the bedroom. “I could stay.”

“No. Bruce needs you, Nat. _Go home_ ,” I urged. “I’ll be back on Monday. Honest.” I shrugged my shoulder. “Let Steve know for me?”

She nodded as she made her way to the door. “Monday,” she repeated as she arched a brow at me. The expression was clear: Show up Monday, or I’ll come back here and kick your ass before dragging it back to the compound.

I nodded. “Thanks for checking on me Nat,” I said as we finished our goodbyes.

I sank down on my sofa, kicking off my shoes as I aimlessly searched the internet. I watched a few shows then opted for bed. Blessedly, sleep came easily for me given I had a belly full of carbs and two beers.

The next morning I decided to make a bad thing worse by walking my soon-to-be chubby ass down to the corner bakery so I could snag a dozen doughnuts. I decided I would eat them all today.

Why?

Because apparently I hated myself and wanted to make my return to life at the compound as miserable as possible by getting out of shape and gaining ten pounds as fast as possible.

By the time I’d returned back to my apartment, I’d already eaten three doughnuts. The chocolate covered kind.

I, too, liked to live dangerously.

I slid the box containing the remaining nine doughnuts across the countertop with my one clean hand, reaching for a towel so I could wipe the chocolate from my other.

I jumped, squealing, as a metal hand shot out and grabbed my wrist before I could tear off the paper towel.

I was twisted around abruptly so I could face the owner of said hand, though I already knew whom I would see.

“Bucky,” I huffed. “ _What the fuck_? You scared me to death!”

Bucky held my gaze for what felt like forever before looking me up and down. I felt like he was examining me for injuries. He never said anything to me and didn’t respond to me in any way.

Now I know why Nat mentioned the whole _Winter Soldier_ thing. Bucky seemed off…in a bad, _bad_ way.

“We should talk,” I said, though he made no effort to release me or even acknowledge my suggestion.

We held each other’s gaze for at least another full minute, neither of us speaking. I somehow knew enough not to struggle against him, so I didn’t fight him as he held my wrist.

When he finally released me, I turned to finish wiping the chocolate from my hand, hiding my face from him for a moment in an effort to collect myself. When I turned back, he as standing with his arms crossed surveying my apartment instead of looking at me.

“You have no food,” he said, his voice monotone.

I glanced at the counter. “I have nine doughnuts left,” I offered, stupidly thinking he might be hungry. “I have some wine.”

Because, hey, it’s barely nine in the morning and wine goes well with doughnuts.

“And I have some mints.”

Oh God, _please stop with the word vomit_ , I thought to myself. He doesn’t want an inventory of my pantry.

He gave me some serious side eye, looking at me coldly.

_And hello Winter Soldier_.

That shut me up. I looked away as I mimicked his stance in the kitchen, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning against the counter that was perpendicular to him.

“How did you—“ I nearly flinched when he turned that cold gaze fully back to me. “How did you find this place…only Fury and Nat—“

He never changed his expression, but his eyes told me everything. His eyes said: _I am the Winter Soldier. If I want to find you, I’ll find you. If I want in, I’ll get in._

I sighed, the breath long and loud as I pushed it through my nose.

“You have no security alarm. You have no heat. You have no bathtub—“

“Bucky,” I interrupted him despite knowing it would result in the Murder-Death-Glare, “did you come here to scare me to death, talk, or give me a run down on my lack of amenities?”

He stared at me for a long time before his gaze softened, though just marginally. “I was all over Europe,” he finally said.

I cast my eyes down before looking back up at him again. “The weather is good this time of year.”

And the Murder-Death-Glare was back.

“You can’t seriously fucking think I was there for the weather,” he spat.

“Do you want to fight and yell? Or do you want to talk, Bucky?” My tone surprised me. Hell, I think it surprised Bucky. “I can go either way. You choose.” I shrugged. Apparently, my adrenaline was getting the best of me. I doubt anyone ever invited the Winter Soldier to an argument before.

I gestured to the living room when he didn’t speak, encouraging him to take a seat. He walked ahead of me, looking large as he took up an obscene amount of space in my modest apartment. He planted himself in the middle of the sofa, so I opted for the chair near the window so we could sort of face each other.

He looked at me with that cold glare again before giving a partial headshake, then stared straight ahead.

“You left,” he said simply. The monotone was back again.

I pulled my feet up, making myself small in my already small chair.

“I didn’t just leave, Bucky. I was overwhelmed. I ran—“

“From _me_ ,” he finished.

“I needed time to decompress from the mission, Bucky.”

“ _From me_ ,” he repeated.

“No Bucky. I—“

He stood abruptly. “You left; you ran from me!” He loomed over me. “Why?”

I looked away from him then, choosing to look toward my bedroom instead. I soon found myself picked up out of my chair, my feet barely registering the change in position as Bucky unceremoniously placed me to stand in front of him.

“You owe me that much. Why? I would have stopped anytime. You _knew_ that.” The monotone was gone, and his expression was far from cold. He was angry and hurt.

“Because I can’t do _this_ ,” I said, emphatically gesturing between us. “I can’t do what we were doing Bucky. I just can’t.” I reiterated.

Bucky looked wild eyed and a bit stunned. “I see,” he said as he turned toward the door. “I—“ he hesitated. “I’m sorry. I should go.”

My feet finally remembered how to work again. “Wait, Bucky, I—“

His hand was on the doorknob when he turned back to me. “I never would have…I thought you—I thought _we_ ….” He didn’t finish his train of thought as he stared at me, preparing to leave.

“How could you know, Bucky?” I asked, my eyes filling with tears though I fought to maintain control of my emotions. “Lots of people can have casual relationships…I’m just not wired that way.” I shrugged. “Then when I realized how I felt about you—“

“How you feel about me?”

I sighed. I’d walked right into that one.

Oh well. In for a penny, in for a pound. Might as well be entirely honest.

I blew a breath through my mouth as if I were preparing to rip off a bandage, and in a way, I was. Maybe if I admitted this out loud I could finally start to move past it, start to heal.

“I’m in love with you Bucky,” I said.

I felt like I was going to throw up; I felt raw and vulnerable.

Bucky just stared at me, dumbfounded. Clearly, he didn’t see that coming.

“I ran because I couldn’t deal with the hurt of a one-sided relationship, and I couldn’t trust myself not to get into a casual, sexual relationship just to have some sort of connection with you.”

When Bucky still didn’t respond, I took it as a cue to further explain myself.

“I’m dealing with it, Bucky. I just needed some time to lick my wounds. I don’t want things to be weird with us, and I promised you they wouldn’t be. I _can_ get through this…just give me time. I don’t want to lose you as my friend on top of everything else.”

I swallowed as I wiped away an errant tear.

I crossed my arms in front of me as I looked away, feeling exposed. I’d said everything I had to say; I’d said everything I _could_ say. The ball was in his court. I wouldn’t ask him not to leave if he wanted to walk away, and I wouldn’t beg him to stay in my life.

Bucky furrowed his brow as he narrowed his eyes at me, looking more like himself. “Can we—“ he gestured to the living room instead of finishing his question, and I nodded as I turned and made my way back to my chair.

Before I could sit, however, he grasped my shoulders, ushering me to the sofa with him instead. I wasn’t sure the proximity was a good idea, but he wasn’t exactly yielding in his guidance either, so I sat as he sat, taking the spot he’d steered me toward, each of us turning a bit to better face each other.

“I don’t think I was being clear during the mission,” Bucky started.

I shook my head. “No, it’s not your fault. You had no idea how I felt about you,” I offered. I was already feeling less embarrassed about it. Heck, I might be all-better in a decade or three.

Bucky’s eyebrows shot up high on his forehead. “Oh, you’re right about that…I had no idea.”

“I’m sorry Bucky, I should have been honest from the beginning.”

“No, I should have been _clear_ from the beginning, Z.”

I shook my head but he shushed me when he placed a hand on each side of my face, turning me to face him.

“I’m not looking for casual, Z. I’m in love with you and I have been since well before this mission. Probably within a few months after you arrived at the compound….”

I sat up straight, pulling my face from his grasp. “You never said anything.”

“ _You never said anything either_ ,” he defended.

We stared at each other for a few seconds without speaking.

“Are you…serious?” I asked incredulously.

“Very much,” he replied quickly. “You can ask Sam or Steve if you need confirmation. They’ve been telling me to ‘ _go for it_ ’ for months.” He finished, rolling his eyes as he shook his head.

“Bucky, I’m—I’m so sorry. I never should have left Ireland without talking to you first. I just panicked.”

He winced. “I would have liked that better. I wanted to tell you—I planned to tell you after the mission that night but—“ Bucky dropped his head, looking sad and ashamed. “I hope I didn’t ruin things at the compound.”

I tilted my head in lieu of asking him to elaborate.

“I kind of made everyone’s life a living hell before I took off for Europe looking for you.”

I sighed as I recalled Nat’s worry.

“I’m sure we can work it out with everyone,” I hedged. “You may need to suck up to them for a while, though…but I think they’ll just be happy to have _you_ back to _you_.”

“I was pretty horrible to Sam, but Steve…I said some awful stuff.”

“I made him promise not to say anything Bucky.”

Bucky made a troubled face before speaking. “And he never broke that promise, Z, no matter what I hurled at him.”

I swallowed hard as I realized Bucky had gone off the deep end a bit. “Maybe we should talk to them together, hmm? I think this whole situation is really a team screw up,” I smiled as I took his hand in mine.

Bucky finally smiled, his eyes crinkling. “That might help,” he shrugged. “I love you, Z,” he said suddenly and my heart constricted before booming, feeling enormous in my chest.

“I love you too, Bucky,” I said, leaning forward to kiss him.

He pulled me to him, scooting me onto his lap as he held me against his chest before lifting me so that I straddled him. “God, I missed my girl…I think I went a little _dark_ for a while.”

I smirked at him. “Natasha was worried.”

Bucky dipped his head to drag his nose down my neck. I was beginning to realize he had a _thing_ about scenting me.

“Hey,” I said as I pulled away a bit. “How _did_ you find this place, exactly?”

Bucky looked sheepish for a nanosecond before confessing. “I mirrored Natasha’s phone. I knew you’d reach out to her eventually. When I saw the burner number I figured it was you. I tracked her phone to see where she went after the call ended…she came straight here.”

My jaw dropped. “She is going to _murder_ you, Bucky.”

“Not if we can disable it and remove it before she finds out,” he quipped.

“We should go…now. In fact, the sooner the better.” I started to roll off him but he held me to his body.

His eyes darted past me to the bedroom though he returned his gaze to me quickly. “Maybe we could stay a while longer,” he said as a small smile played at his lips.

I tilted my head as I returned his smirk. “Are you eyeing my bedroom, Sergeant Barnes?”

Bucky’s smirk faded immediately, his face taking on a more dark but lustful look as his jaw clenched and unclenched. “Listen doll,” he ground out at least an octave lower, “we can go as fast or as slow as you need to go. I just want to be alone with you, _just us_ , for a while…whether we are sleeping in that bed or I’m fucking you into that mattress—“

My breath hitched at his words as wetness flooded my panties.

“Because that’s what’s going to happen if you keep callin’ me that, sweetheart.”

“Are you sure, _Sergeant Barnes_? I mean, I’ve been told my apartment is lacking in amenities, _Sergeant Barnes_. I would want to offend—“

Bucky cut me off, his mouth on mine as his lips and tongue did wicked things to leave me breathless and wanton. I whimpered into him as he carried me to the bedroom, climbing on top of me as he laid me on the mattress.

He ground himself against me, and even through my jeans and his clothing I could feel he was fully hard. I pushed back against him, earning a groan of approval.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he whispered and I had the distinct feeling he as talking to himself more than me. “I wanted our first time together to be something romantic for you, sweetheart,” he said between fevered kisses and aggressive touches. “Candles and all that—“ he continued as he nearly ripped my jeans open, rocking back on his haunches so he could pull them off completely in one long drag, along with my socks and shoes.

I quickly pulled my sweater over my head, flinging it into the newly created pile of clothing on the floor. I unclasped my bra, tossing it into the same pile, leaving me completely bare beneath a fully clothed Bucky.

Bucky’s eyes roamed every inch of my skin. Every freckle and mole, every scar. I felt naked in every sense of the word.

“God, you are _beautiful_ ,” he breathed as he ran his hands reverently down my torso before roughly grasping my hips. “I know I should be gentle, baby, but I don’t think I can—“

I pulled Bucky down to me, roughly grasping the front of the tactical jacket he still wore so that he had to catch himself on his forearms to avoid crushing me. “I’m not asking for gentle,” I said boldly as I found the zipper and tugged it down quickly. “Just fuck me, _Sergeant Barnes_ ,” I teased, thoroughly pleased by the nearly palpable hunger rolling off Bucky, “mark me, _make me yours_.”

Bucky’s reaction was almost primal. He tore his jacket from his body and yanked his shirt over his head in that sexy one-handed way guys seem to master. I admired his muscled upper body as he sat upright to unbuckle his belt and unbutton his pants. He paused after kicking off his boots, drawing my eyes up to his face only to find a sultry, knowing smirk.

“Like what you see, sweetheart? You look like you’re gonna eat me alive,” he goaded as he hooked his thumbs around his pants and boxer briefs, prepared to remove everything in one move.

“Don’t tempt me,” I said breathily as I sat up to nip at the skin on his abdomen. “I just might,” I finished as I lay back down before him, my hand snaking between my own thighs as I sought my own relief.

Bucky’s eyes locked onto my hand between my legs and he quickly slapped it away. “Nuh-uh,” he said as he held it in his metal grasp. “Remember what I told you, sweetheart? ‘ _I control your pleasure_.’ When you want to come, you tell me and I’ll make sure you come.”

Bucky released my hand only to place his metal thumb on my clit. The coolness was startling and I gasped as I rolled my hips against him. He applied more pressure as he began rubbing my bundle of nerves in tight circles.

“Have you been getting yourself off, kitten,” he asked as he took first my right then left nipple into his mouth, making me cry out.

I arched my back off the bed as I continued to roll my hips. Bucky barely touched me and I was about to explode. “God yes,” I cried out as he made another circle before pressing into me again.

“Really?” He asked, almost seemingly surprised by the admission. “Thinking of me?” He growled the question.

I knew better than to tease him right now. Who knows what he might do if I jokingly mentioned Steve now.

“Only you, baby, _always_.” I confessed as he pushed a thick finger inside me, followed by a second finger.

He seemed pleased with my response, and he began curling his fingers inside me as he swirled his thumb in faster and smaller circles.

“My girl. My good girl.”

I literally whimpered at the sensations he was creating. My hands ghosted across my breasts, lightly pinching my nipples before I reached down to touch his hand between my thighs, silently urging him to continue.

“Bucky, I’m close, baby,” I arched my back as I rolled my hips in an effort to garner more friction.

“I’m gonna make sure you’re ready for me, baby,” Bucky promised as he positioned himself so that both of his knees were fully seated between my legs. He used his knees to spread my legs, baring me fully to him. When he was satisfied he returned to finger fucking me in earnest.

“You ready to come for me, kitten?” Bucky asked before licking the flat of his tongue across my pebbled nipple.

I whispered a chorus of agreements, nearly pleading with him.

“Then _come_ ,” he urged as he curled his fingers into my g-spot, his thumb still pressing on my clit as he tightened his circling motion.

My abs tightened as I nearly curled in on myself, every muscle in my body seemingly involved in the explosive orgasm. Bucky watched me through every wave, his blue eyes darkening to hint at the storm raging within himself.

I could tell he was strung tight. He’d gotten me off to make sure I was plenty wet for him, and judging by the pornographic sounds coming from where his hand joined my body, I’d say it was mission accomplished.

Bucky kissed me as my shockwaves died down and my breathing returned to some semblance of normal. It was more teeth and tongue than anything, and I knew Bucky’s tether was breaking.

He hooked his thumbs over his pants and boxers, quickly divesting himself of the remainder of his clothing. We were both naked now, and it was my turn to stare.

He dragged his hand down to my core, gathering the wetness he found there before coating himself, pumping his fully erect cock several times as he watched me watching him.

“I would ask you if you’re sure, but I’m past the point of no return now, darlin’.” His voice was husky and dark with want…no, _need_. “This won’t be gentle,” he warned.

And for some reason his cautionary notice ignited a new wave of heat in my core, my body pulsed with need as my nipples tightened painfully.

Bucky slid his cock along the seam of my lower lips, gathering more wetness as he leaned down again to kiss me roughly. He kept most of weight off me by using his metal forearm, and used his flesh hand to position himself.

My brain finally screamed in warning as our kiss ended with Bucky biting my lower lip.

“Wait…wait—“ I cried out, and I could feel Bucky’s body tremble. It was taking a maximum effort for him to control himself this much. I idly thought that stopping altogether might kill the poor guy.

“Maybe be a little easy at first, _big guy_ ,” I said nervously, glancing down where he held himself in position.

Bucky’s cock was thick, and the idea of taking him _down there_ all at once was a bit overwhelming.

Bucky barely suppressed a smile, though he did manage to turn it into a sultry smirk. “I won’t hurt you baby,” he kissed me gently before pressing his forehead against mine.

His hair tickled my cheeks.

“I’ll give you time…but I _will_ fuck you into this mattress,” he swore darkly.

True to his word, Bucky did enter me slowly, going inch by inch just as he promised at the club. The fullness wasn’t uncomfortable, but it did border on pleasure-pain. I welcomed the sensation of being filled by this man.

Once he was fully seated, we remained connected like that for several minutes as Bucky kissed me, taking the time to again mark my flesh.

He seemed to have a primal need to see his marks on me.

I rocked my hips, urging Bucky to move inside me when he roughly grasped my hip with his natural hand.

“ _Don’t. Move_.” He warned, biting the words out with a hiss. “Your pussy is so tight, and hot, and _wet_ that I’m about to come inside you right now,” he growled, again nipping my bottom lip. “And I don’t want this to be over before we get started.”

I nodded my agreement, waiting for his cue.

When he finally moved, my head rolled back on my pillow and I mewled at the loss. Every thrust had me crying out. Bucky was anything but gentle as he found his bearings, and I was loving it.

“You feel so fucking good around me sweetheart,” his voice barely more than a beastly growl. He continued saying filthy things to me, as his thrusts grew more erratic. The bed had scooted against the wall and was making terrible noises against the floor and wall, but I was too enthralled with all things Bucky to care.

Suddenly he hitched first one knee up, closer to my chest, then the other. The change in position had him bottoming out inside me; reaching even deeper than before and I swore I could actually feel his cock growing thicker and harder within me. I cried out as I came around him without warning, my core fluttering as I squeezed Bucky’s hardness.

Bucky’s feral grunt was the only hint that he, too, had reached his peak as his hips ceased their punishing rhythm. As his thrusts slowed somewhat, he ground his pubic bone against my clit, eliciting yet another orgasm.

Bucky shuddered and hissed in pleasure as I involuntarily tightened around him, riding my wave through.

“ _Fuck_ ,” he drawled as he slowly rolled his hips against me again, my walls clenching and unclenching around his thickness. “So good to me, baby,” he praised me as his lips found mine.

Our kiss was nothing like the wild, wanton sex we’d just experienced. Bucky’s lips pressed softly to mine as he worshipped me with his mouth, occasionally pausing so we could continue to catch our breaths or whisper words of adoration to each other.

I loved this man, and he loved me. That much was clear. Everything else could be worked out later.

“I didn’t hurt you did I, sweetheart?” Bucky asked as he smoothed my hair away from my sweaty face.

I shook my head, doing the same for him while earning a small smile. He was still inside me, still looming over me, his body weight a heavy pleasantness though his hardness had dissipated somewhat.

“You were perfect, Bucky. That was—“ I closed my eyes, lightly shaking my head as I realized I was truly at a loss for words.

“I’m glad you liked it, doll.” Bucky kissed a across my jaw until he reached my ear, then lightly nipped at my earlobe. “Let’s get you in a warm shower so you don’t get too sore, then I’ll kiss it and make it all better.”

I hummed my appreciation, though the idea of showering seemed awfully taxing.

I shifted as Bucky rolled off me, realizing he was right about another thing…I was definitely going to feel the results of our coupling for days. I already ached, but in a most delicious way that had me eager for more of the pleasurable fullness and intensity that Bucky delivered.

I made my way to the bathroom, donning Bucky’s shirt he had haphazardly tossed onto the floor. When I came out again, I snickered at his huge frame taking up my entire full size bed.

I warned Bucky he likely wouldn’t be able to use the shower without crouching, and he lamented that everything in my apartment was hobbit sized.

Apparently he and Steve were in the middle of The Lord of the Rings series.

I managed to shower and Bucky snuck out to get us some food. We stayed in for the night, talking and continuing to explore each other, both physically and mentally. We decided we would face the team together the next day.

The next morning came sooner than I’d like to admit, and I was definitely feeling the effects of Bucky’s attention. I hadn’t been with anyone in, well, _a long time_ , and Bucky certainly wasn’t always temperate. He never hurt me, but he often skirted the boundaries of my physical limits and I knew it was in large part due to the serum. My body was spent, but I craved more of him. I’d just have to get accustomed to him, and I looked forward to that particular challenge.

As soon as I could walk straight again.

And sit without cringing.

Did I mention I was sore? ‘Cause my lady parts, hips, and thighs were killing me. And my ass might actually be at least three shades of red rather than the ten he’d threatened at Serenity.

He pulled me against himself as we prepared to leave my apartment and head to the compound, kissing me deeply before pulling away to bury his nose in my hair behind my ear. I laughed softly as his ticklish touch.

“Why are you always smelling me? Do I stink?” I laughed as I crinkled up my nose when I pulled away from him.

“God no,” he said, laughing right along with me. “My scent is all over you, doll, and _I love it_.”

I furrowed my brow as I narrowed my eyes. “Of course I smell like you. We’ve been all over each other and my bed is tiny. We haven’t been more than a nanometer apart in twenty four hours.”

“It’s more than that.” He hedged, appearing unsure as to how to continue. “Being able to scent you like that, it’s… _primal_ ,” he narrowed his eyes to drive his point home. “I used to turn the air conditioning way down on movie nights so you’d need my hoodie…then our scents would be mingled,” he confessed, my eyebrows going high on my forehead. “Now that I’ve been inside you, it’s obvious you’re mine.”

The gleam in his eye said he’d do it all again.

My smile faded at Bucky’s confession. It sounded so primal and animalistic…and weirdly _hot_.

“I think my girl likes being marked as much as I like marking her, hmmm?” He drawled.

I nodded.

An hour later we prepared to leave the apartment _again_ , and I vowed I would not get sidetracked by the super hot super soldier shadowing my every move. His hand stayed almost chastely on my knee the entire ride home, only occasionally veering toward my inner thigh.

We brought mountains of food back to the compound with us, laying out a veritable Mexican buffet as we offered our combinations of thanks and apologies to the gang. The food virtually guaranteed Sam’s quick forgiveness, and even Steve seemed to be willing to let everything go. I knew he and Bucky would need to discuss whatever happened between them privately, but I also knew they had a strong relationship and could work through this fallout.

Natasha was a wildcard. She was very hard to read and I didn’t know if she would try to murder Bucky in his sleep later this evening or not.

“How did you find her, Barnes?” she asked confidently.

Bucky sighed beside me and I clasped his hand. I knew he was going to confess everything, and I knew Natasha would be pissed.

“I mirrored your phone, Nat,” he said bluntly, making everyone in the room pause. “I’m not sorry. I had to find her. I know you value your privacy. I didn’t obtain any information other than Z’s location. I swear.” Bucky spoke the truth, opting to do so frankly and clearly.

Nat, who had been positioned opposite Bucky and I around the kitchen island sauntered toward Bucky slowly while keeping eye contact. Bucky stood in place, obviously waiting for whatever Natasha was about to unleash.

“I already knew,” she said with her trademark smirk. “I was giving you the opportunity to be honest with me. I wasn’t sure if you would go behind my back again and try to wipe my phone before you thought I found out.”

I sighed. She seemed…okay. Even Bucky seemed to relax marginally.

“For the record, _I_ wasn’t sworn to secrecy after Dublin and I would have helped you, punk.” She punched him lightly on his shoulder, giving him another smirk. “Thank you for being honest…but if you do it again I _will_ kill you.” Her smirk disappeared and she grew more serious. “We’re glad to have you back to _you_ though.”

It was as close as anyone would get to Natasha ever saying she forgave _anyone_ , and for that I gave her a grateful smile.

“As for you–” she said, rounding her attention on me.

I held my hands up before speaking, “I know, and I’m sorry I ran.”

She sighed. “Apology accepted. But…,” she hedged as she considered what she was about to reveal to me, “I have something for you. Something—“

“ _Awkward_ ,” Sam sing-songed.

Natasha turned to give Sam the stink-eye before speaking again. “We didn’t know about the CCTV footage or the cinemas in the back rooms,” she said bluntly as she held up a flash drive. “Bruce and I never made it to the backroom, so we had no way to know they were secretly recording everyone in the main rooms.”

My stomach dropped as my lungs deflated. I quickly snatched the drive.

_Holy shit, the entire team watched us!_ I thought to myself as realization dawned on me.

My breaths came in short, shallow billows. I was going to hyperventilate.

“Easy, it’s okay,” Steve soothed behind me.

I spun around to face him, a strange, strangled sound my only response. I’d meant to say _Really? Okay? Is it?_ Instead I’d managed a garbled, “N-ghh.”

“Damn it, Natasha,” Bucky said as he seized the flash drive from my hand, pulling me to his chest. “It’s okay, sweetheart…it was over so fast no one saw much of anything.”

“He’s right,” Sam said. “It was just blind luck that you guys were on the screen when we raided.”

“I don’t know if _luck_ is the right word here, Sam,” I said, though my voice was muffled by Bucky’s chest.

“I erased everything,” Nat said as she took my elbow to garner my attention. “ _Everything_. This is the only thing that’s left,” she said as she gestured to the drive. “I thought you guys might want to keep it. Like a souvenir,” she shrugged nonchalantly.

“Thank you?” I said, both sincerely and questioningly as I shifted in Bucky’s embrace. I mean I was grateful she had the wherewithal to erase, well, _everything_. But I didn’t know if I’d call the contents of the flash drive a souvenir.

“Thank you, Nat,” Bucky said more definitively, inclining his head toward her.

She just smirked. “At least we know how you guys got the invite…that was pretty hot.”

“Jesus Natasha,” Steve said as he put his elbows on the island and buried his face in his hands.

“Well it was,” she said as she turned to leave us. “And I win my bet with Bruce,” she said to me though her back was turned. “Oral sex is still sex.”

I stared at her retreating form as she walked casually back to her quarters. When I turned around to face Sam, Steve, and Bucky I finally let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding.

“We will never speak of this again,” I said, suddenly feeling very authoritative.

“Sounds good,” Steve said as he stood upright.

“Works for me,” Sam replied coolly. “When’s lunch?”

I smiled at Bucky, feeling very peaceful as he smiled right back. Everything was going to be okay. We made a good team. All of us.

Heck. I might even work up the nerve to watch that flash drive with Bucky some day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that's it. My first published work. 
> 
> I'm a crazy mix of excited, nervous, relieved, and terrified.
> 
> I desperately want to know your thoughts about this work...but I'm also a little anxious about it too! I hope you enjoyed my crazy plot, and I hope you have an amazing day.


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